He's gone and I feel mortally sick.
Monday, 05/31/04 - 9:22 pm.

Well, I cried a lot, and my parents cried a lot. So did my brother, duh...he wouldn't let go of my dad when they were hugging goodbye at the airport lounge. And my dad was trying to get rid of him, because he didn't want to make it harder. Go, son, calm down...go for it, you have a brilliant future ahead. And he does, yes.

On the way to and from the airport, I saw a lot of soldiers along the road (new president of the republic tomorrow, ugh), and that scared me. Specially when one made my dad pulled over. All sentimentalisms and brotherly love aside, I'm so damn glad my brother is gone from this hellhole. Things are only getting worse in this country.

I cried silently all the way back home (opposed to my mother, who was sobbing, and my dad, who went on and on, with a voice that broke down constantly, about what a blessing was that my brother had found a chance abroad), biting my lip, trying to keep everything inside of me. I ran to my bedroom and I fell asleep. When I woke up two hours later, I had a flu and I was beat up, as if I'd been asleep for 16 hours straight on a bed of rocks. Every muscle was hurting, and my face was swollen. I could not read more than two pages, and I have a VERY important midterm the day after tomorrow.

Joseph being a wonderful tangent who never fails to make my day, I have been feeling beat up, miserable, tearful, achy, heartbroken, scared and sick ALL DAY. I have a strong headache, to the point of making my teeth hurt. I just want to rest without having to worry about midterms or researches.

But my brother is ok, he made it safely (except for being registered for a hour and a half at the Houston airport) and that's what matters.

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