Wednesday, 06/30/04 - 10:05 pm.
Hi. I have taken a break from the research I'm working on, just to come and type this entry. I am fed up with this stupid research, and I bet so are you, you are fed up of reading my bitching and moaning about it. But not to worry, I will finish it tonight, and I'll finally be able to focus on studying for the finals.
The group for this research consists of four: Victor, Irene, Victoria and I (Angie is not taking this subject). But I consider this work as Victoria's and mine, mostly. It's kind of upsetting, yes. But the other two are well aware of that, and are trying to make up for it at the last minute (although that doesn't make anything easier). I just got an e-mail from Victoria, she just tells me we'll do just fine, and we're very close to forget about it. It's always the little things, and her little e-mail was very encouraging. I'm almost done, I'm almost done (I'm almost done).
Today was my last guitar lesson, and I found out my guitar instructor suffers from schizophrenia and anxiety attacks. It was really impressive, when he told me that. I was very sorry for all the things he had to go through because of that. He says nobody believes him when he tells them he used to be very angry. He's very patient, you know, and such a kind man. He's wonderful, and his musical knowledge never fails to amaze me. I'm glad he's better now.
I wasn't very happy with the day. My whole day was spent surrounded by people, Joseph's friends. They're awfully nice, but I wasn't quite comfortable.
He took me to some kind of bar, across the street (from the university). His "clan" was there, people with eyebrows pierced and black bracelets, smoking and drinking beer and listening to this type of music...Tool and such. Too hardcore for my taste. Cel was there, too, but I was really, really out of place. Joseph got himself a beer, and he never offered me, which I seriously appreciated, because he knows I don't drink.
I sat away from all of them, but Joseph never left my side. He said I was much more important than them for him, and that there was a reason for him to take to such place: I took you there because I want you to know all of my sides...I want you to see the trash I once was, the trash I am and...well, I don't want to be trash in the future, I want to make you happy. But anyway, my point is that I just want you to see who I am, all of the things I am...and if you still love me after discovering all that, then...you're the woman of my life. I am, duh. I love him no matter what.
- Joseph: I don't want to be there, really, and you've taken me out of there...it's so much better to spend my money on a cheesecake for you than on three beers for me. That place is hell.
- Me: I think a bar is considered heaven by many...
- Joseph: no, a bar is hell. You go there and confess all your sins when you're drunk. It's a place where you face all your demons.
Oh.
I actually thought he was drunk. Not drunk-drunk, just a little...high. He'd had just one beer, anyway. It took me the whole day to figure out he was not drunk, but quite the opposite. He was very lucid, and he was pretending to be half drunk to get away with a plan of his, that involved Angie and Fer (the friends he's trying to hook up). He was very loud and sarcastic, and not subtle at all on his comments. I laughed when I understood his plan (which I will not be explaining here, because it's too long). It was quite clever.
Today was the last day of the semester in the university. It's what my friends (Victoria, Irene, Angie and Victor) and I refer to as "the season finale", but this one didn't catch us together. I barely saw them through the day, let alone all together. Which was sad. I miss "us", the five of us. But we're still close, and I dare to say we've created a stronger bond between us.
I had no class today (canceled at the last minute), so I was with Joseph from 4:30 'til 8 o'clock. The funniest thing about his friends is that they're "add water" friends...he just stands anywhere, and friends show up. I counted today once (because it happens many times a day)...we ran into Maniac and Fer. They started to talk to Joseph and me, and within three minutes, six more friends had come along and they were making a circle, singing The Doors and talking about anything.
One thing was upsetting me, and that was that I wanted to be alone with Joseph. The whole day we were surrounded by people, his or my friends. That's great, really...my friends have warmly welcomed him into our little circle, you have no idea how cute it is, when he hugs Irene goodbye and such. And his friends have done the same to me. It's wonderful.
But I told him I wanted to be with him alone. He said he just didn't want me to have a routine with him, so he was determined to make every day different. This was different for sure, I met his...scene. I was uncomfortable, as I'm not very social, I don't drink, I don't smoke and I don't listen to such heavy music...but I really appreciated that he took me there. He's really taken the task of showing me bits of his life everyday, and I must be the woman of his life, because no matter all the odd things he is, I am in love with him the same. Well, duh.
And it wasn't so bad in the end. What am I saying, it wasn't bad at all. We had our time alone before I left the university ("yay!", yes). And in the cafeteria he got down on his knees and asked me to marry him, but you know, that's just part of a complete breakfast.
prev / next