Thursday, 07/01/04 - 10:42 pm.
Hello, hi, I have woken up to come and type this entry. It's not so late, but as soon as I came home from the university (at 7:30) I laid on my bed and decided I was going to take a nap. And the only thing that's made me interrupt that activity is my commitment to this diary (aw).
I'm beat. I thought I was tired, or exhausted, but I'm just beat. I worked on the research last night, from 9 pm 'til 3 am. I worked on the research today, from 10 am to 2:30 pm. Victor was a huge help, seriously, but I hate his last minute reactions. He discovered he was good at stadistical analysis at 1 am. At that time we discovered our conclusions were wrong...our hypothesis wasn't wrong. So we had to change practically all the content in the work.
If there's something psychology has confirmed to me, is that emotions do consume energy from your organism. A LOT of energy. I don't blame being beat on my sitting for hours and hours, watching our document grow in size and discovering mistakes in it. I blame it on the stress it put us through practically for a whole semester, and on the lack of sleep it caused me, and maybe even on my tired eyes (currently, we don't have one of those dark screens that lessen the visual impact of the monitor -argh-).
But I mostly blame it on the attack I had this afternoon, because of the stupid printer, and because I hated the professor for giving us a task that -many people said- was not for a student of second year of psychology (more for one in the fourth year). It was an attack for sure, with material damage and all, and my mom witnessed. I think she was going to tell me something about anger management, but she just got out of my way. Wise, wise woman.
I finally turned in that frustrating research, at 5 o'clock. But I didn't feel a huge weight off my back or anything...perhaps because I was in denial, that it was finally over. Or perhaps because I am aware I have finals coming up. My brother said, though, that, if we learned about experimental investigation with this research, then it's well worth everything, because there are students of 5th year that still cannot work with stadistical data and that's lame. He's right, you know, so I stopped hating my professor. He's doing us a favor, after all.
I stayed in the university for a long time, mostly because of Joseph. We did something today but I'll keep it to myself. And it wouldn't surprise if what we did was another reason why I am beat up. But it was something positive, unlike the never-ending research.
My parents think I'm gay, seriously, so they're PLEASED when I take a girl home. They'll love you, but if I don't sleep with you soon, they'll believe you're just a facade for my homosexuality. He was not blackmailing me, "sleep with me or they'll think I'm gay". They ALREADY think he's gay, anyway. It was just a comment he made, we were talking about his parents and his sex life before I came along. And the rest of what happened is...well, action.
My plan was to take a nap when I came home, and then study for tomorrow's midterm until midnight...oh, because I have not studied a damn thing, having that research from hell on my way. But I'll fail miserably with that plan, for I am going back to bed. I have a headache, and if I don't fall asleep within five minutes, I will begin to cry helplessly.
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