Shy-shopping, sleeping-over kids and possibilities love-wise.
Wednesday, 07/28/04 - 11:28 pm.

I am certainly not built for shopping sprees. I love those, but my mind is too big to lose it in a mall. I feel guilty if I spend too much money. But by being middle class and being aware of the real world, I am entitled to feel that way, aren't I?

I am attending a 15th party this friday night. It's the birthday of the daughter of the daughter of my dad's brother, which means, I think, the birthday girl is my niece. I'd never met that girl until a few weeks ago. My parents and I were invited, because my dad and his brother are close and NOT because the girl and I have any real relationship. I just don't count her as a niece. To me, there are only two nephews and one niece, my siblings' children.

So anyway...I was going to buy a dress, but I found one at the back of my closet (I NEVER wear dresses). So I only went to the mall to buy a pair of shoes. I also bought a bathing suit that makes me look fat (I realized that at home, hi) but it's VERY comfortable (so I'm happy with it, screw my hips...Joseph says they're well built for reproduction *cough*). And I found pants! STEVEN TYLER PANTS!!!. They were on sale, $9 and not $27. Like, OMFGZ. I still want to meet Steven Tyler, you know? AND his bandmates, too, duh.

I spent the whole evening hanging out with my nephew and niece. The TWO of them (the two from Houston, I have another nephew, but he lives here, about 15 minutes away). My nephew played my guitar and my niece, to my surprise, was reading my Simeon cartoons. They're in spanish, but she read them anyway (they have trouble reading in spanish), and I think she liked them (her drawings are cool, "it runs through the family", she says, and it does). I showed her my box full of notebooks and she said I should get them published. But she had in mind that I'd get a WHOLE page for me in the newspaper, just like that. Oh, right.

We watched TV for a while, Hey, Arnold. We watched a music video and then they went to bed...to bunkbed. They fell asleep, and now I'm here, happy to have no sound around me except for the rain, but also happy knowing that those two kids are just under my roof, and that if I wanted to play at one in the morning, I could run into their bedroom and start yelling to wake them up. I might as well do it.

I talked to Joseph this morning, for almost two hours. We were talking about the days when we were "just friends", and the day we hooked up. While he was telling me all those romantic things that day, I was trying to get rid of his hands around my arms, I hate being held in a certain way. I wasn't paying attention to what he was saying because I was trying to break free. But I knew that if I told you anything about it, you'd let me go and walk away...you were very fragile at that moment. Indeed. Had I dared to speak my mind, "let go of my arms, Joseph!!!", he would've kissed me on the forehead and said: "anyway, I just wanted to tell you I think we'll be wonderful friends", while walking out of my life for good. And I'd have turned gay the next week.

I called him in the morning. He called me at night, to say goodnight, and to tell me things like: I LOVE! you, and for the reasonable price of a kiss, I can also tell you that I ADORE! you. He was hyper, he was talking very fast, and he asked me if I wanted to marry him. I said yes, but I don't think we'll get married this weekend, because he's broke (he wants to offer me economical stability, quite a gentleman). Maybe the next one.

Ok, bye.

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