Friday, 08/13/04 - 9:11 pm.
Between subscribing my subjects at the university, and dealing with my dad's rudeness toward my mom, and finishing the cover for my dad's book (which turned out very nice, if I do say so myself), I am very exhausted, to the point of rejecting the idea of elaborating any of these three topics in something longer than a paragraph.
Except maybe for the book cover. It took me about five hours to figure out what to do with the picture I was going to use (this one). My dad wanted it a certain way, so did my mom, and at some point I was very offended and I stopped liking the picture.
I don't have Photoshop, ok? Or anything else for that matter, so I did the whole thing on Paint. PAINT! I got so desperate, at how many copies I had to keep, at how many times I had to repeat the design...I was very pissed off, and for my dad, God forbid I am angry: "listen, if you're going to get like that, let's just forget everything". Oh, fuck you. Isn't it normal to be upset when the computer is slow AND the thing you're doing is all fucked up, both at the same time? It seems that for him sentiments of anger in me are unacceptable. Then he's living in the dark, because I'm a very angry person, even if all the people who knew me in school swear I'm not like that, to the point of reciting three Our Fathers when I curse.
Out of annoyance, my forehead has three marks, from when I was sticking my nails in it. I hurt myself when I'm irate, you might be familiar with that idea by now. It was the only way to let out some of my anger, too, because my dad was around. I thought of going to my room to cut, but my sense of duty was stronger, and I remained in my seat, finding the right font for the title. I finished the design, my dad liked it. The end.
I realize that yesterday, in my entry, I was very exaggerated about my scared-ness. I don't feel like that anymore...not a lot. But I see/hear/read bad things everyday, and I go to bed afraid of my own dreams. I'd like to take this opportunity to say I hate the world, and the people's alienation.
I saw something very cute, but I don't have a camera to inmortalize the moment, sucks to be me. So I just drew it. And that's all, because it's raining.
