The horrors of civil war, although this hot boy insists it wasn't a war.
Saturday, 08/28/04 - 11:00 pm.

I've been quite busy the whole day, reading and writing. Reading, mostly. And writing, too.

I've been reading Freud's letters to his friend Fleiss. I could swear he was Freud's imaginary friend. It's not a laugh, I tell you. I didn't think reading Freud would be so boring, because I like the guy's theories, seriously. But honestly, sometimes it's too much.

I've read other things throughout the day, but always psychology related. I wrote a few things myself in the morning (I'm waiting for the right momento to show my writings to my dad), and I dedicated my whole afternoon to translate a very important document, for my dad to forward.

Next week, as some of you know, Francisco will be testifying in the civil trial against the man who ordered Oscar Romero's killing in 1980.

This is the first time anyone will be brought to justice for the killing of Archbishop Romero. In 1992, when the peace accords were signed, the United Nations set up a Truth Commission to investigate the most high-profile and brutal cases of atrocities and human rights violations that occurred during the war. The Romero case was part of this. However, the ARENA-controlled right-wing government immediately declared a blanket amnesty for all those who were implicated on both sides of the conflict. The effect was basically to short-circuit any process of justice and reconciliation. We believe that Salvadoran society continues to suffer deeply held resentments and hatreds, in part because people were never given an opportunity to go through this important process. In short, the war ended, but peace has not yet been achieved.

I had to translate 10 pages about that. It's tremendously interesting, but also very brutal. By the things I read, I'm afraid I'll have lots of nightmares tonight.

In the early 1980s, a cousin of mine, ----------, was working as an organizer for the Federaci�n Cristiana de Campesinos Salvadore�os (FECACES)/Christian Federation of Salvadoran Peasants. Most of the cotton, coffee and sugar cane workers earned less than two dollars a day. At that time, it was illegal in El Salvador to organize farmworkers. Elias was arrested in Aguilares. Two days later, some dogs dug up his body, which had been buried in a shallow grave on the Cerro Colima, close to Chalatenango. He had obviously been tortured, and his tongue had been cut off.

My grandmother heard that her granddaughter had been arrested and went to the police headquarters to see what had happened. She, too, was arrested. Both of them were jailed there overnight. The next morning, the police told my grandmother that she was released and that she should go home because "she had a lot of cleaning up" to do there. When she got home, she found the remains of my two aunts, ---------- and --------. They had been chopped into pieces with a machete (some sort of huge knife).

I will be showing this to Joseph, too. He says that what happened here, the civil war, was not a war, it was too "soft" to be a war. It's nothing, he says...that's a good thing, then. Imagine if this war would've been "something". He's odd like that, and have in mind he loves all things army. That's one of the things I don't understand about him...I mean, I do. But I don't. Jesus, Jesus! (his other name is Jesus...I couldn't translate his name as it is in spanish, but he actually has both biblical names) how can you say that?.

During that same week, at about 6.00 P.M one night while I was in class at the Central America University (UCA) one of my classmates, Patricia Cuellar, who was working with the Salvadorian Human Rights Commission, came into the classroom. "Monsignor Romero has just been killed," she announced. There was a stunned silence. Then, suddenly, everybody rushed out. Within a few minutes all of the students and faculty - about 3,000 people - were gone. Men in civilian clothes captured Patricia Cuellar a few months later, and she never appeared again.

With that being said, I must go back to reading Freud and Fleiss. And thinking a little about Jesus, too, because after all, he looks hot when he doesn't agree with me.

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