Numbness and how a flash animation got me out of it.
Monday, 09/06/04 - 10:43 pm.

My bad mood followed me everywhere after the weekend finished. I woke up this morning with something in my throat, something I believed to be a slice of bread but turned out to be an inffection.

I was unable to do anything in the morning. I exercised for only 7 minutes, had breakfast, read the newspaper, took a bath. And then I laid on my bed, still. I don't know for how long I remained like that, just staring at the ceiling, feeling uncomfortable with myself.

9, 9:30, 10, 10:30 am...and I didn't move. Until I found a solution: "oh, I'll straighten my hair". And I did. I think that gave me some strenght to keep moving. But I didn't really do anything. I was tired. I was exhausted. All the things I felt over the weekend became physical tiredness, and I was numb.

However, I got out of that state as soon as I checked my e-mail. I had one new message, that went like this:

From: "Steven Tyler" ([email protected])
To:[email protected]
Subject: hi
Date: Mon, 6 Sep 2004 03:34:08 -0500

The e-mail included a big attachment (around 760 KB).

I only said "fuck", thinking it was probably a virus, knowing it couldn't be really Steven Tyler, because he doesn't know my name (and has nothing to say to me), and the attachment had my real name on it (my real name is nowhere to be found around here, you realize).

The latter, however, gave me the confidence to download and open the attachment.

I found a flash animation, made by Angel. I laughed so hard, it made my day. It's the best-est thing that has ever made my day (here it is, for your viewing pleasure. When the "save as" box appears, type ".exe" at the end of the file name, Aerosmith, or else you won't be able to see it). My mood pretty much improved for the rest of the day, and thanks to Angel now my melancholy phase is gone.

Although I must admit that seeing "Steven Tyler ([email protected])" scared the hell out of me.

Joseph pointed out that I looked very sad today. I kind of explained to him why. And that was it. I love him, and I hated that he went away with a friend of his this evening....well, not really. While he was with his friend, I got to hang out with my friends (Victoria, Irene, Victor). Since we started dating, I barely have time to be with just the three of them, let alone the four, because Angie only takes two classes with us. So although I hated not being with Joseph for a while, I really enjoyed being with the friends. The friends rule.

Hear me bitch: I am tired, I've been tired since I woke up, and the throat inffection won't go away. Other than that, though, I am beggining to have lots of assignments for the semester (and panicking about it), I had a terrible conversation with Carmen today (thank you for letting me listen to you talking to your incoming cell phone messages) and...oh, hey, I'm tired.

A lady from Spain came into my class tonight, and she passed around a questionnaire. By all my answers, everybody will say I have a wonderful mental health. My enviroment is great, my parents are happily together, I am happy with the career I chose, and my significant other treats me with all respect and love. I am certainly very lucky, and I do enjoy my mental health.

The only question I was in doubt about was "have you ever attempted suicide?". I didn't want to sound pretentious, or look like an attention whore...besides, "suicide attempt" sounded to me like something much more serious than just the intention of killing oneself and the insignificant hemorrhage from one wrist...in general, I didn't want this answer to be incongruous with the rest of them, because seriously, it wouldn't be cool...so I checked no. There's a name for that tendency in psychology, your answers stick to what society expects from you. Yeah, well, sorry about that.

Guess what? I'm still tired.
Thank you, Angel. You suck.

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