Home alone, wishing he was my neighbor.
Monday, 10/04/04 - 9:22 pm.

This is a highly unlikely situation for me: the house is quiet, and there's no other sound than my fingers typing this entry (and Frog drinking water in the patio). My parents are abroad, and I'm home alone. I'm kind of lonely, and the silence sort of scares me...I'd turn on the TV, on behalf of my dad (who ALWAYS watches TV at night) but really, I prefer silence. I'm ejoying the silence.

I got a call from them -my parents- a couple of minutes ago. They're ok, and they attended my brother's speech (at the psychology congress), they said he got a lot of positive response from the audience. Before they called me, though, I got a call from my other brother, the one in Houston, congratulating me on my book. He says he'll buy me a copy, but I want to give it to him. My niece Rebeca also talked to me, and said that we're a famous family. She's good at drawing, too, so she might as well become a cartoonist and be on the newspapers everyday. I told her so. You think?, she asked in her cutest tone.

I was in the university at 1:30, because my sister gave me a ride during her lunch time. I'm embarrased to take up her time, although she seemed glad to be there for me. Seriously, it's nice to know you have a lot of people to count on. My brother's girlfriend is giving me a ride tomorrow...AND she'll take me to have lunch, too.

This morning I was having breakfast, when my parents had already left. I wondered what I'd do if they died. I could do the basics, like going to the supermarket. I could live on their inssurance, and my siblings would economically support me (I'm a rat, aren't I?), while I find my own job. But then I started to see all the details: the car check-ups, paying X bill at X bank, knowing who to call when something breaks in the house...managing a house goes beyond having the money to do so. It all seems very easy for me right now, because my parents left the kitchen well assorted, and they told me where they keep the money, in case I need some.

At least I made my own bed today. Duh.

Joseph and I went to buy my stuffed dragon at this juice parlor, where his friends Adam and Tiny work. You see, they have a bussiness going on at the back at the house -all legal-, related to internet and anime and videogames. Only Tiny was there, and what seemed to be a simple purchase, turned out to be couple therapy, in which Joseph and I got some things off our chests, related to the night I got all moody (last wednesday). It was kind of nasty, so I really don't want to talk about it.

That lasted like five minutes, though. Then we patched things up and we went on with our beautiful relationship.

Now the hard part of all this is that I'm home alone, and I wish he was with me. I look around this empty house, and I say to myself with bitter regret that he could be with me right now. We wouldn't have sexual intercourse, if that's your concern, because it's that part of the month for me...but I have to be honest: I want him in every possible way. Falling asleep next to him would be the best.

We were thinking he could come over tomorrow morning...very early, before Rose (the housekeeper) showed up. Or maybe he could come pick me up in the morning and take me to his house, so I could to meet his mom and his *cough*bedroom*cough*. Or maybe I could take the car...there are so many options, but I'm scared. Not of him, but of things not working out. There are watchmen on this street, and they could see him coming into my house and they could tell my dad...or I could crash the car. I don't know. I don't want this opportunity for us to be wasted, but I'm afraid that's what'll happen.

Ok, enough. I'll keep the rest to myself. Good night.

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