Love=crap (if you're not the one in love)
Wednesday, 09/12/01 - 8:18 p.m..

It's still fuckin' pathetic...

Getting back to shallow issues...I'm alone again. I had to get over my crushes...screw them both. One just does not give a fuck about me, the other one (the guy) is not even my friend. Last time I called him up I ended up feeling like I was nothing but an empty bottle of Coke.

And I hate being with both of my "friends" (Veronica and Carmen)...being with them is like being alone twice. I have no group or a single person to hang out with who I feel comfortable with. But at the same time I'm starting to feel all alone. Way too much.

On the other hand, getting back in touch with my ex sucks. I already remembered why I was sick of him...it's all about me, for fuck's sake!!!! You're so this, you're so that...he overwhelmes me with all his crap, I get emails from him at least 2 times a day..it's not the number, it's the content. He's driving me fuckin' nuts!!!! I don't love him. He still does. I'd appreciatte if he kept his mouth shut about it.

And the shit goes like this: I don't want to be with the ones who want to be with me and viceversa. It sucks a lot, because...well, I'm alone, after all. But I think I'd rather be that way than with someone I feel uncomfortable with, or someone who is uncomfortable with me...whatever...fuck it all.

Girls' restroom...it's weird to be in there. I mean, hell, I'm a girl but...I go in. Most of times there's someone else...with someone else. Chatting. Like Wilma and Betty. I do my thing while they're talking in front of the mirror, I go out, I wash my hands and they start laughing and keep chatting. Typical. My social abnormality has no limits...I get in and get out all alone of the girls' restroom. I don't chat with anyone (I do hear gossips) and I don't look myself in the mirror, unless there isn't anyone else (it barely happens). Yay me.

Well...shit, obviously I'm not in good mood for writing. I wish I'd talk to someone instead. So...I'll go to my room and talk to Simeon, the wise guy. I have a certain feeling my Bipolar Disorder Phase is about to begin again, bringing back other issues I had forgotten for a while...

Quick, mom!!! Go get me a helmet!!!

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