Saturday, 11/ 04/04 - 10:33 pm.
My period decided to arrive this morning, in the middle of my psychometrics final. I was dying, and I was scared of the Kuder-Richardson reliability test not working out for me. I got stuck longer than I wanted to in that damn exam, because at times I was falling asleep, and with all that pain, I couldn't think straight.
I was holding my breath. For the first time in my university life, I thought there was a high possibility that I could flunk the test. But after the exam, talking to Victor and Victoria, made my confidence improve.
Irene had to left early, so it was just the three of us, walking around campus trying to get photocopies. And me, with the ball and chain of ovulation at the highest peak. But it was fun. Victor is such a heartbreaker, so it took us longer to get to our final destination (my brother's car, so I could leave). He just kept bumping into girls who are into him. He's kind of cute, and really funny, but not the type you'd think gets all the girls. But hey, he plays guitar. That's a plus.
It was noon by then, and luckily the cramps were fading. My brother went quickly to a bookstore and then he dropped me off at home, so he could go to the movies. I had lunch by myself, watched TV (I hadn't done that in SO long) and checked my e-mail.
This message was waiting for me:
Hi.
Did you listen to "melancholy blues"? if you haven't, download it, you won't regret it. It's pretty, I like it and I'm listening to it right now. Another favorite of mine is "play the game".
About what I told you, that my mom thinks I'm gay (that's true), well, I'm not, because then I'd have to like a man (Freddie Mercury), and besides, I have a girlfriend (no, I don't). So don't believe everything I say, sometimes I joke.
Thank you for reading.
It was from Joe, and that made me smile endlessly. It's funny, the fact that he apparently had to clarify that he doesn't have a girlfriend. I guess that made me a little happy, even though it shouldn't. He's just cute. AND that e-mail kept me from thinking about Joseph. I haven't allowed myself to do that today.
I didn't do anything in the afternoon, except for babysitting my nephew. I was going to study and such, but I fell asleep. I discovered the final had worn me out.
At 5:30 I had to be at the UCA auditorium. Norman is part of a dancing group, and today was his debut. My mom, my sister and my nephew came along. They enjoy all things that have to do with art.
When I arrived, I saw a guy lifting up his girlfriend and kissing her, Hollywood style. It was D. and her girlfriend, and for some reason that upset me. I saw old friends from school, this is our high school reunion, someone said. But only D. and Rod looked at me.
Something was bothering me, and I discovered it was the fact that I was the only who'd brought family along. All of my high school acquaintances were there in groups. But once I put my annoyance in words, I stopped caring. I realized that I'd actually rather be with my family than with any of the high school acquaintances.
During the recess, I walked to a window, feeling a little left out. That group there, basically "Norman's friends" always makes me feel uncomfortable. I was never really part of it at school, only by association. D, Rod, Norm, Carmen, and all their friends. I don't know...it shouldn't really bother me, but it does.
Well, I was looking out the window, and I heard someone whistling at me. It was Carmen...AND Roberto, who I hadn't seen for over a year and a half. It was great seeing him, he's cute, as usual. And Carmen said: hey, I have a girlfriend (she's gay, remember?). I saw her. She looks a lot like Carmen, only taller. They do look like lesbians. The short-hair stereotype.
While we were talking, a guy approached. He's quite handsome, and Victoria calls him "angel", because she seems him everywhere: at church, near her house, in the campus...he studies psychology, by the way, third year. Mom says your angel shows up wherever you are, she'd told me (well, she's very religious). So he's my angel. She didn't mean it in a romantic way, but ever since, Irene, Victor and I have been thinking that they'd make a good couple.
Anyway, since he's Carmen's instructor, they know each other, and she introduced him to me. I know him, because I've seen him at the instructors' cubicles, and I've seen him singing in the choir (near Joe). And it turned out he knew me, because I'm "the coordinator's [of the career of psychology] sister". And that was it. But I kind of wanted to meet him, because I like him. Not like I like Joseph, or Joe, but he's quite cute, and I hereby declare that he goes on the list of boys I like.
The show continued. I enjoyed it very much. Norman amazed me, even though I already knew he's a great dancer. I'm going to e-mail him, to congratulate him.
At the end of the show, I walked out of the auditorium. Again, I saw Norman's gang, including D. They never turned around to see me. I met Carmen's girlfriend, and I said goodbye to Roberto. Hey, did you get my e-mail...about the [my] book?, I asked Carmen when she was turning around and walking away. "Yes", she said dryly, like she didn't even hear my question, and walked away. Ok, that hurt me. I expected a reaction from her. Any kind.
Luckily, Victor had attended the show, too. He was definitely the only face I considered familiar (and we gave him a ride home). And then I realized the past, my past relationships that is, mean nothing now. My only friends, the ones I can count on, are Victor, Irene and Victoria (Angel, too, of course, but I mean the ones I can see on a daily basis). Whatever I expected from anybody else was wrong.
Did you tell your friends about the presentation of your book on thursday?, my mom asked. I was going to say that they couldn't care less about my book, but I just nodded.
And now I'm talking to Joe (about movies and amoebas), and Angel wants to read this entry (because he's nosy, like, hardcore), so this is it for the day.
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