Three friends, the boyfriend and a birthday.
Monday, 02/14/05 - 8:56 pm.

Joseph called me just to spite me, because he knows I don't play along with this whole Valentine's Day thing. Look, I'm breaking up with you, he said all of a sudden, and I realized how funny it'd be to break up with your sweetheart on this date.

I can't wait to see him tomorrow. When it's NOT Valentine's Day. But say, this is my first Valentine's Day with a boyfriend. Which doesn't really mean a thing (except maybe that I'm pathetic, if you want to get technical, but that's just your opinion).

My friends Art, Roland and Pablo (who's visiting from Cuba) came over in the afternoon. That made my day. They stayed for an hour or so, and we talked shit and I took pictures and we played guitar. The pictures in particular...well, they're like a gay parede photoshoot. They all were posing and making faces, holding their hands. It was both cute and hilarious.

I realize time has come for me to go out with friends. With THEM. I was taking pictures of them, just laughing and having a good time. I already told Art about Santana's concert, and we may go together. They're madly in love with Joseph, they consider him one of them. In a way he is, and he enjoys their company as well, but I remember he once went what the fuck, why do they love me so much?, because they'd only talked once or twice and they were like atracted to him. He's very likable, I guess. He's special indeed.

You know what's so special about this date? It's Joe's birthday. He turns 19. I sent him horoscopes, they all talked about love, so I warned him about the Forer Effect.


And because the audience asked for it, according to astrology.com:
You may think your words are missing their target, but you just hit the bulls-eye.
[translation: everything's fun and games until someone loses an eye; bull fighting is the roman circus of the modern time and we must stop it at any cost].

Stuff like that. I had a laugh writing the e-mail. I wish I had that kind of inspiration for the goddamn literary contest.

I keep thinking and thinking. I am in love with Joseph. I am in love with Joe, as a slip-up showed in my conversation with Angel:

- Me: AND, I'm talking to Joe. Which makes me feel horrible.
- Angel: not really. It makes you feel good.
- Me: yes, but no. Because Joseph is in love with me. And I am in love with him.
- Me: but I'm also in love with Joe, so that's not really fair.
- Me: Wait...
- Me: "but I'm also in love with Joe"
- Me: You know, I didn't mean to write that.

In the meantime, I'll go with the "signs": Joe told me he needed to start going to bed earlier, and so do I. So we'll talk less, no more conversations at 2 am. And on the other hand, Joseph's favorite band is Stone Temple Pilots, and they played in John Lennon's concert for New York (after 9/11), and Scott Weiland sang Across The Universe (a Lennon song) with Steven Tyler (and others) last night at the Grammys. Just me being a parascientist.

Let me say this: I can't wait for tomorrow afternoon. At the risk of sounding pathetic, I have to say that's going to be my first date ever.

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