Sunday, 02/17/02 - 9:38 pm.
I have my oh, great math exam tomorrow. I'll be fair: I really didn't study 24/7, but I still hope I won't be forsaken. I do understand the fuckin' probability. I studied 6 hours over the weekend. The day has 24 hours and a weekend, 48. The exam will be two hours long. Soooo...*Simeon types in calculator and mumbles numbers and events*...the probability of me passing the exam is...uh, I don't know....one third? I guess. Who wants to have a life ruled by numbers, anyway? I'll become a mime.
Veronica invited me over to study at her place. I went and Sophie was there, too. We studied and we...well, they chatted. I mean, I just listened, I had nothing to say. They were talking about their sweet boyfriends and how much their in-laws suck (they do...religion fanatics, dammit, think about it). Sophie is Veronica's boyfriend niece...I'm serious!!! And Sophie's only one day older than he is (she's 16-17). It's a weird bond. Anyway...
...this serious subject came out...The Society. They (both Vero and Sophie) have been there, they've been fucked up by a few of them. And I realized, way deep inside of me, that my paranoia is not that pointless. You really can't trust people 100%. Not one, not a damn person. I don't, no matter how sweet they are to me. No one, read my fuckin' typing, no-one has more than 75% of my confidence...that'd be, 0.75 in probability. I'm not sacrificing myself for someone who "seems" to be a good person. Believe me, a lot of people, if not everybody, seem a good person to me. I might act naive and such, sweet and friendly...But I know...I do know. Very well. I know who. I don't know why, and I won't be sticking around to find that out. Some people make me sick. Actually, is not them. It's their stupidity, foolishness and shallowness what makes me throw up.
Well, on happier news, parental units will be out of town (hell, out of the country...off to Houston to visit my brother) for three weeks...WHOOOOOOO-FUCKIN'-HHOOOO!!!! They're leaving on march 21st....finally, some freedom. I'll be home alone. Well, with Alan, but he only comes at night and every three days he's on call. And I had a thought...lettheguyknow,willya?. And 0.0000000000000001 seconds after that thought, I thought: WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM, YOU MISERABLE BITCH?!?!?. Definitely. I can't have him over. It's not worth it. Yo, wait...I wasn't thinking of inviting him over to get laid or anything...I don't know, it's that little part in me that still loves him and wants to be with him...that part that's dumb enough to still believe that I might make him fall in love with me....but *Simeon rings a little bell*...tiny mistake, you fuckin' freak (no offense to you, I'm talking to me). In a democracy, we listen to the majority. We have to listen to the Vox Populi. And it says that he'll come to get laid or in the least, to "make out"...Hell, yeah!!!...so I might as well charge him a fee for having sex with me, how about that, huh?. Sometimes I'm a pathetic stupid. But nothing will happen. I'm not taking a risk for something that is not worthy at all. I'll just come home everyday, crank up my Aerosmith music and have a little Aerosmith party for myself. Fuck off, everybody. After what I heard today about human beings at Veronica's, I'd rather be alone with my 43 imaginary friends. Hey, they rock.
Thinking about what I just said, Vox Populi and shit...the problem with democracy is that if the majority is stupid, everything is terribly fucked up. And that's the case, most of the times.
It's time to study math, right? *Simeon rings the bell* Wrong. It's time to get some sleep. I'm actually hungry, but I can't eat past midnight, you know the drill. Oh, shit, that reminds me...the rain season will be here in a few months...I'd better get a good umbrella. God forbid I get wet.
So...I'll get some sleep, then. I can't study before I go to bed because I spend most of the night dreaming of graphic sounds related to the last thing I thought of when I was awake. Yes, I do see sounds....what, don't you? I have some heavy sleep sometimes. I see numbers and shit...and those images are like sounds that don't allow me to sleep properly.
I'm sure I'll dream of this entry. *Simeon rings bell* [Oh, yeah...and your motherfuckin' cowbell, Simeon. Where did you get that, anyway?....*Simeon takes out a Santa Claus suit*]
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