Oh, the magic of the Aerosmith fandom and the details no one but an Aerosmith fan can see (and cares about). Damn Steven's knee injury.

The only classes I had today were philosophy and math (side note: I got my exam, and I've succesfully failed this month). Charlie (science) didn't go. Celia (social studies) didn't go. We had three periods off, since today it was two periods starring Charlie. And seminars (in the afternoon) were called off.

I knew I'd be a bitch today. I knew it since on my way to the classroom I chose to ignore everybody and thought, when Carmen said hi: don't fuckin' talk to me, miserable loser (well, that's my usual reactions to her greets, but I said it with particular hate).

I sat outside of the hall, and I felt depression taking over. (quoth Simeon: it must be pre-menstrual tension, bitch). I don't know. But I let it flow. I felt I hated everybody and their little, happy, elitist groups. I felt worthless for being left out, but content for not belonging to any of those closed groups, and for knowing how to survive isolation.

Just as I was feeling a cold hand grabbing my heart to rip it off, someone bent beside me, grabbed my face and kissed me on the cheek. It was Art. He who made smile. Then he walked 8/9 feet away and Cel approached (it's the 3 meter rule they're under).

Are you going on friday (to the field trip)?, she asked. I noddled. Wanna go see Spiderman with us?. I said -of course- yes. We're going to this little movie theater on friday morning. It's cheaper and maybe it has less technology than the almighty Cinemark, inside the Temple of Capitalism (the mall near my house) but it's more familiar. And it will be less packed.

After we made plans, I told her how I felt about the "groups" and specially "pastoral", and I'd be with no one on the trip, if I went. And as usual, she understood me completely and even added her two cents that were much more than that.

And this was the story about two little kids in love, punished with the 3 meter rule (for no reason) by the school, that made my day a bit happy.

Of course, I had to be alone on every recess. And the strongest feeling I had was that I hated Carmen and Veronica. Sometimes it's tough to be alone, because your buried thoughts come back to haunt you.

Simeon goes: Do you really hate them?. The closest thing to that. If you could change one thing from the whole relationship, what would it be?. At first I said I wish I could've had the balls to tell them how I felt and tell them to get the fuck out of my life....but then I just wished I'd never met them.

And what am I gonna do to solve this? Nothing. Nothing beyond turning my back to them, like they've always done to me. I'll wait outside in the snow until I become Frosty and I'm able to stand their coldness.

Fate comes-a-knockin'
doors start lockin'
your old time connection
change your direction
you ain't gonna change it
you can't rearrange it
you can't stand the pain
when it's all the same to you, my friend.

[Tomorrow I have to declaim a poem. I hate declaiming poems. But I like the part when the man says that he walks along with his last friend, the twilight.]

One thing I can't stand, it's that everything has to be based on themselves. Everything has to revolve around them.
Veronica:
- Hey, are you feeling ok, you've been acting quite weird lately...or is it just me, because I'm just so crazy and weird and I'm imagining things? I'm crazy, don't you think?!?! (*girly, stupid giggling*)
Carmen:
- Hey, I didn't see you today, you got lost...or am I the one who keeps getting lost, as usual? haha. (live in denial, piece of crap, you're always in Julio's office).

No, it's not that "oh, I'd love it if they only talked about me"...but I just happen to hate that everything has to be about themselves. It's that sick "me, me, me" they have.

When you're low, down and dirty
From walkin' the street
with yo' old hurdy-gurdy
no one to meet
you say love ain't the same
on the south side of town
you could look
but you ain't gonna find it around.

I'll stop here. I'm just telling the same old story. It's just the the same old song and dance, my friend...

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