Why not a piece of chalk?
Friday, 05/24/02 - 3:23 pm.

This morning we watched a video about pregnancy on psychology class. Since the sperm goes out until the doctor gives the baby to the mother. It was so touching. It was beautiful to see that little thing grow and grow inside there (I wonder how they caught all that on tape...besides all the patience they needed). When the narrator said the baby's heart was formed and starting to beat and we all listened to it...God, it brought tears to many people's eyes. There'd be at least 75% less abortions if the pregnant girls saw that.

This morning it was the 7th Annual English Fair.

There were three kinds of people:
- The performers
- The ones who weren't performing/the audience (to make sure they'd get involved, they were given a few questions and they had to see at least 5 projects to fill them in)
- me.

Since I wrote the script for the Senior projects show and made some signs, the teacher said I didn't have to make the assignment. I was free.

I ran into the guy before classes started. He called my name!!! He called my name.....walked up to me.......and asked me if I had some candles. I was going to answer with sarcasm but I chose just to say no, I don't with the usual face you'd make if someone asked you such meaningless thing in a school hallway, at 6:50 a.m..

He explained me he was participating in the English Fair and he needed those (only then it made sense). In a very cute way, he proudly said his group was going to be presenting their show in the 11th grade room "A". You should have seen his gestures. A mix between I won the World Cup and I'm Superman. Cute. Very.

Then I talked to him again, when he was setting up everything for the fair. He asked me if I had a stereo with CD player to lend him for the fair. Oh, for fuck's sake. Candles, CD players...he asks me for the impossible.

No, but I have a piece of chalk, if you want.

He said "nothankyou" in a very cute way (ugh, I know...to me everything's cute in him, I'm so disgusting) like when you're ashamed of saying "no" to something or someone. But then he said he'd take it, he may need it after all. He thanked me and smiled.

I took him to Hector's office and we both asked him if we could borrow his stereo, but he said he wouldn't lend it to anybody. I gave him some advice on what to do to get one, and then he left to keep looking.

I guess he didn't find any.

The fair was very fun. I wanted to see a Harry Potter play, but I ended up sitting in the auditorium, seeing the Seniors' plays. Liliana Jones And The Bone, Javo Elliot in Ozland (it was hilarious!), Batman....and I missed the other two. I had seen Batman before, because it was performed by my classmates (Art, Elsy, Pereira...). Luckily, I missed the most boring plays.

At a certain point, Vic, her girlfriend and Fausto did some kind of "halftime". Vic's girl sang and the boys played guitar. So....professional, to say the least. She sang Zombie by The Cranberries....she's a true artist. When I walked in during rehearsal, I swore it was the record playing, but no, it was her.

I made a drawing of them playing and gave it to them. And it paid off much more than I thought, when at the end of the show they both hugged me and Vic went: THAAAANK YOU, TYLER!!!! shit, I LOVE IT!!!!!. Itzel (Vic's girl) said she was about to cry (have I mentioned she drools over Steven Tyler? She likes Aerosmith...not as much as I do -of course- but it's ok) Awwwwww...

I stayed around classroom "A" for a fairly long time throughout the morning. I'd go away and then come back, I don't know what for...well, yes, I do. The guy was around there. But he ignored me like...well, no, it's not like he ignored me....it's like when you know someone but not beyond "hihowareyou?" when you walk by. You get the point.

After a few hours, I made myself clear that I wasn't living in an ideal world and the guy wouldn't come up to me. So I convinced myself that indeed it was useless for me to be there, and I wouldn't be missed. So I left. Alone. As usual.

I've noticed that I live hurt. Something is always hurting me. Every fuckin' day. Every. And it's the fact that he's not in Senior high. Maybe it affects me more that it affects him (or more often, anyways), but it's true...I live obsessed with that fact. I curse it everyday, no matter if I get in touch with him or not. I curse it everyday.

What, Simeon?

Uh, yeah, I guess.....Yes, that'd be all.

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