Saturday, 02/19/05 - 5:44 pm.
I woke up this morning to some hammering, and when I got out of my bedroom, the bathroom was gone. It'll be back in a week, revamped. Ok...
I have this feeling that my conversations with Joe are getting thinner and thinner. It should be a relief for me, "hey, if we only talk a few sentences per night, maybe my massive crush on him will go away". It should be, but it isn't.
I was telling Angel how I feel like I'm losing, and I said, and he said almost at the same time, that he was never mine, to begin with. His classes are in the morning, mine are in the afternoon, so I won't see him, unless we happen to be instructor and pupil again this semester in guitar lessons. It's kind of strange, how things seem to be drifting apart...it's the same type of strange that seemed to have brought things together in the first place (you know, things...our paths crossed, and...stuff...).
My sister is going to New York for two weeks. I begged my mom to let me go, the ticket is like $240. She stated we can't afford that trip, but I think the main reason (not that money isn't an issue) is that she doesn't want me walking around alone in Manhattan. What about lodging? What about food?. So I won't eat. I really want to go there. I want to see the Dakota building, and Yoko's window, and Strawberry Fields, and hell, just be there, in the city. But you were there once already, is what I'm told. I WAS TOO FUCKING YOUNG AND STUPID TO REALIZE WHERE I WAS, LET ALONE ENJOY IT!
Oh, how I was wish the TV was turned off. It's been on for five hours straight. I'm dying to scream and cry and break that goddamn thing.
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