Tuesday, 03/08/05 - 9:07 pm.
The doctor recommended me, for my back injury, to go swimming three times a week. That makes me happy. I love swimming, and I needed that push. Back in my day, I won a lot of medals in swimming. No, really. First place, too. And now, swimming is the only exercise I'm allowed to do. That, and walking on my toes.
It was a very busy day for my dad, because not only he had to take me to the doctor, he took my nephew, too. He's staying over while her mom is in New York (I wanted to go, you know that), but on sunday his dad took him out for the day. Well, my nephew came home and explained to us they were involved in a little car crash. Not only that, my nephew was on the back of a pick-up. Fuck. I hate his father. He didn't even tell us. He just dropped him at the door.
So it was a day of running for x-rays, pills and presenting notes to his teacher, and the daycare ladies, and the swimming teacher (he goes to swimming classes twice a week). I was reminded today what a selfless man he is, running around all day for us. He even cancelled his own appointment at the doctor's. I need to start driving, so he can finally get some rest.
This afternoon I decided to call Veronica. She wasn't home, but when she called back, we didn't talk more than five minutes. I was sore because of that. I mean, sad. I told her maybe we could have lunch next week. I need to talk to her, and I don't even anything to say. I'm guessing she does. She always has. Back in the day, I was her best friend and confident. Those were good days, I tell you. From 4th to 8th grade, she was my best friend ever.
I didn't talk to either Joseph or Joe last night. Is that a punishment? I fear I sound like a slut, saying I love both, but that's something beyond my control. I feel like a monster, but hey, I'm sticking to Joseph, hoping to live with Joe as a "dear friend", or whatever.
Joseph hasn't called me back. I'm a little scared, it's been a week now. I'll call him as soon as I finish this entry. I'm afraid something has happened to him. I'm afraid I did something, or did not do something. I'm afraid he'll start with that "come to my house to see me or we're through" crap again. I honestly wish that, if we were to break up (why am I talking about breaking up?!), I'd be the one harmed, not him.
As for Joe, I'm afraid all the stupid things I said on our last conversation freaked him out. I go "what if blocked me?", "what if he hates me now?". He hasn't come online, and I wish he did. He was on last night, but seconds after I logged on, he went offline. Hence I started to panic, maybe he's blocked me.
I finished little women today. I was enchanted by it. And I love Jo. And I think, well, I'd like to have a Laurie....wouldn't it be cool that Joe and I had such nice friendship? That's the problem with girly novels, they get you fantasizing. But hey', it's a great one, nonetheless.
In spite of all this, I'm in a good mood. I'd given up on the literary contest, and today on a humble newspaper there's the ad for an international contest, and it's free-writing, of an only 8 pages long story. That's more like it. I'm motivated, and hopefully tomorrow I'll get to develop this idea that's tickling my neurones.