Friday, 04/22/05 - 9:20 pm.
After days and days of HOT temperatures and cloudy skies, it rained. Like, like, a lot. And right at 8 pm, when classes at the university end. It was raining cats and dogs, as the youngsters say. It always rain when I have a tough midterm.
Ah, yes. Social Psychology. I'm a failure, but I'd rather not talk about it right now (my deafening decaying at all things academical, I mean). I have to finish a paper on a book, and the take-home midterm, and I have to study for the next midterm: Experimental Psychology, by my one and only (well, not really the only) brother. All three things for monday.
I feel strange. I'm in a strange position, that's completely new to me: being friends with my ex-boyfriend, who I'm still in love with. I've found myself unconsciously having small hopes of getting back together with Joseph...or I see us like casual friends who ocassionally have sex. I don't know, that kind of stuff. I'm aware that it's just me being hopeful. I know it's not going to happen (I'm thinking of asking him to come to the mall with me next week, once the damn midterms are over).
I woke up very happy today, because of my conversation with him last night. But right now I miss him a lot. It doesn't help that it's raining. It was raining when we kissed for the first time. Oh, hell. I still have a long way to go. Getting over him, I mean. I, as I've learned today, still can't accept that he isn't in love with me anymore.