Monday, 06/24/02 - 8:40 pm.
There are two ways of looking at your day. The big picture and the details on the big picture.
The big picture: I went to school, stayed in the afternoon for a BKB game, we lost and now I'm back home. Hi, I'm boring.
The details: I woke up, got dressed...you know the drill. I looked at my calendar when I was ready. And I noticed this afternoon I had a BKB game and I'd completely forgotten about it. But I packed my gear up quickly.
As I'd been saying, I was totally not thrilled with the idea of getting back to school. But as soon as I saw all those familiar faces, when I saw Cel and Art, and their 3 mts. between them, when I saw Norm, when I saw the obese girl...I smiled. And I laughed out loud, and I was very happy just to be there. Vic hugged me when he saw me. Betty, Soph...I was happy of seeing them all again.
Our first period was Philosophy. But instead of the class, we were called down and humilliated. "Room D doesn't work properly", "Room D doesn't behave", "every teacher has said the same about room D""....we're basically the black sheep of senior high school. The other three rooms are fuckin' angels. Hector compared us and kept repeating that he didn't mean to put us down. I saw his point, it was a good one. He also said he just wanted to let us know what's going on, and wanted to know what we thought about this situation. Everybody said it's half our fault, half the teachers'. Um, yeah, ok. But honestly, I didn't care for what he said. I've been such a good girl my whole life, and I think it was about time for a change. He didn't say anything personal, it was just about the group. The 27 kids in room D, that are the most problematic from the whole senior high.
I was very surprised when Veronica approached to me and gave me a drawing. She does this "cute drawings" from a book of hers. She'd attached a picture of Steven Tyler. I found it on the newspaper a few days ago, in case you missed it. I was very shocked. I hadn't expected her to think of me during this past week, let alone do a drawing for me. I was so touched, that of course I wasn't a bitch to her. Aw, thank you so much! It's beautiful!. It is. Really. I just found out she wrote on the other side of the page: #?$%& - I love you. She didn't even sign it (she always does). She didn't wrote "I.L.Y", nor "I <3 U", no. She wrote the whole thing...something plainly unusual. How could I be mad at her after such thoughtful thing?
Then...the day was pretty average, I guess. After what Hector had told us, we were kind of...put out. But the usual thing...we'd laugh, we'd whine, we'd pay attention, I'd look up the ceiling and see dead hanging over me...
I haven't mentioned that, right? There's a piece of ceiling, hanging exactly above me. I noticed that before we went on vacation, on thursday, I believe. I kind of got scared and I told Vic. Then I told Hector, so he could do something about it. He said no problem, it won't fall. Ok. I looked up today and there's just 1/4 of it attached to the rest of the ceiling. Shit, I could just...die. Death is so close it's even exciting. Hey, #?$%&...you're gonna die!, someone yelled at me. Everybody looked up and saw the thing. Ricardo told Hector. Then Adriana told him (she's also in danger). Then Veronica told him (although she's not in our classroom). Hector finally said he'd take care of the problem. I doubt it. Part of me does want this piece of ceiling to fall on me and squash me. The other one...err, doesn't. So if you stop hearing from me these days, have in mind that maybe I'm at the hospital in a deep coma. My head's never bled...it's hard to believe I'm *this* close to die. It could be two things...it may fall and hit Vic and you, OR it may fall and hit me and...you, Adriana said. Huh.
I got my prom pictures today. Geez, I've felt ugly the whole day. Everybody said I looked gorgeous and shit...but no. It's awful. I thought they'd turn out better. Everybody was complaining about their own though. I have a list of people who want a copy of my picture and I too have a list of people, and I want them to give me a copy of theirs. I also got my grades...no 5 and below, which means I passed everything. In a very mediocre way, but hey. On the other hand...I have no 10s. Shame. But hey.
Like I said, I stayed in the afternoon because at 4:00 I had my game. Adri was staying too, so we decided we should study math to invest our time in something productive. We really didn't. We talked and talked, we had other people sitting with us (on the floor) and talk some more...the prom pictures were the topic of the day....the second one was Room D's scolding (at least for the kids in room D).
When I was getting ready to...go get ready for the game, I saw the obese girl and the guy. They're great friends so it's usual to see them talking and hugging. I was with Adri and the obese girl and him come up to us. Blah, blah, blah...and the obese hugs him desperately and goes: oh, I miss you so much...now I don't have anyone to annoy. And the guy goes: but I don't have a prom picture. I swear I heard our hearts break as soon as he finished his sentence. And all that obese could reply was: don't say that!!! Don't say that....
I shot and scored once. But we lost. I'm not exactly upset by that. It's just that we hadn't lost any game, we were doing just fine. And now we lost. But that's ok, there's still two more games to go. We can still win the championship. I swear no one was in the mood to play today, that was an important factor.
The guy ran into me, when I was walking around the BKB court, working on my stoicism and, to my surprise, he stops in front of me and goes with a smile: hey, what's wrong?! you should be playing on that court, shooting and scoring!!. I sadly smiled (at that time, my stoicism was practically unexistant) and said "oh, shut up...". He smiled back and patted me on the shoulder. To tell the truth, I tried to see him and be seen by him the whole day. I still have feelings for him, yet I can't tell if it's love or just other thing. I was jealous when I saw him with someone else. But I'm easily attacked by jealousy (not a bad one, with insults and hate towards someone, just that tiny feeling of "I wish that one was me").
If you don't mind, I have a confession to make. I almost touch Denver's...package. He was just bothering me, I was sitting on the grass, watching my team lose, and I stretched my hand, trying to hit him in the leg. Then I realized, I would've missed the leg. You're vulnerable from where I am, I said. And we remained that way for a few seconds. Norman looked at us, laughed (we're very used to sexual innuendos) and went: whoooaaaa, careful. Denver looked down on me, with a "I dare you" smile. I'm gonna do it, I'm warning you, Denver.... He smiles again: no, you won't. I moved my hand forward: Seriously.... He didn't back off, so I chickened out. I was practically touching it. No. maybe if we were all alone..., I excused myself. Oh, yeah? Then c'mon, let's go over there..., he dared me. I was standing up when I chickened out again. He was serious. But he was serious about it, because he knew I wouldn't do it. I might...I might. But I was kind of embarrased. I'd have loved to do it to prove him I dared though. Then he dared me to bite him...his shoulder, his back, his belly...that's where it hurts the most.
No, there's no love involved. Nothing but a friendly game between friends. They (Fo, Norman, Carmen, Denver, Roberto...) bite each other. I don't bite him (well, I did just once) and he's tried to, unsuccessfully...but he's pinched me so fuckin' hard...it's that kind of pain in your skin that lasts for several days. But no...just playing with each other. He does turn me on, but...we're just friends. Honestly.
And that is all. I must admit I had a wonderful, wonderful day. But you're warned, if I don't show up anytime soon, I'm most likely at the hospital. It's kind of exiciting but really scary....to look up and see that, about to fall on my head. It's death! You hear about death your whole life and suddenly it's in front of you. But I'm gonna be honest, I wish I'd meet Aerosmith instead.