Monday, 05/02/05 - 9:50 pm.
I am very upset. Very, very upset. Before I got upset, though, I got many things done: paid my tuition, got a book from the library, visited my Industrial Psychology instructor with a doubt, and got a cold capuccino.
Between the instructor and the cold capuccino, there's Joseph. I was on my way to the coffeehouse when I ran into him. He gave me back my book, a Beatles CD and a plush toy (that was mine), and I gave him a copy of my book. I told him I was thinking of getting red highlights, he said he was thinking of going blonde. I said go for it (hours later I was laughing to myself, I hope no one noticed). It was a very friendly encounter.
You should know that he called me last night, and we both made comments that hurt one another. I do not understand why he got so touchy over what I said, though. I wasn't rubbing anything in his face...or maybe I was, whatever. We said "things". But we got over it, I guess. Proof is that we were nice to each other this afternoon.
But then came a space in time, between classes, in which I decided to get out of the classroom until the next professor (huh, my brother) showed up. Big mistake, or maybe good thing.
I saw Joseph walking by with "the girl". THE girl. The girl I was told he cheated on me with. I started to shake. They didn't see me. But a group of classmates kept glancing at me, they saw the whole deal, and I guess they wanted some action or reaction from me. I swallowed everything. What sucked the most was that they...they look amazing together. They're both so outlandish, all punk rock, the girl with orange hair and punk skirt, and him in his denim jacket and his whole Trent look. The knot in my stomach came back.
And it's still here. And I want to throw up. I wish I hadn't drunk milk when I came home. I just plugged my guitar and started to strum helter skelter and other melodies. It was a good outlet, but as soon as I unplugged it, everything came back. So I came to the computer and sent him two text messages:
[1] Yo, mister. Because you were with your fashion (he calls her, or used to call her "fashion") you walked past me and didn't even notice. Yeah, I'm marginally sensitive today. Bite me.
[2] Holy erection, Catwoman.
Yeah, I just saw the DLand banner. Bite me. Plus, I figured he must be fucking her right now, because when I saw them walking away, their direction didn't lead to any classroom.