It was a very important moment in our relationship, but I lost the entry.
Friday, 06/24/05 - 11:13 pm.

Fuck. I just lost a long entry about a very important evening with Joseph.

Just know he and I both think our relationship has grown, and that the break-up was a good thing, in retrospective. We met up in the afternoon, but we weren't together, I was with his friends and he was around being his loud self. I had the urge to see him again, so when a class was over, I went to the cafeteria to look for him. I ended up skipping most of the next class (say, like an hour of it).

He always compliments the girls: he says "that woman will be mine", and "she's the most beautiful woman in the world". I told him he's a fox, he says he's just a chatterbox. I don't get jealous, because he always shows me he's in love with me, and asks me to please, always remember I'm in my right to come to him, even if he's talking to someone else (this regarding a certain episode that I WILL NOT WRITE ABOUT AGAIN, DAMMIT!).

He says I have made this relationship beat the one he had with his first love (he's just come to terms with her, saying hi, though she looks down on him and dumped him for another guy), and that he'd never felt so connected to me as he does now.

I'm comfortable talking about sex with him. Because he knows how to do it. He says you begin slowly and tenderly, and then you get fast and passionate. Never wild, because then it's not love-making. Plus, if you're going to do it, you have to care about your partner. I always ask "are you ok, are you comfortable"? That's important. Some guys say "we were doing it and then she wouldn't want to go on". It's because you're not making her feel good, stupid! She has to feel secure, she has to know that you care about how she feels.

Fuck this shit. It was a good entry. And you know, fuck is not too strong to express how I feel. I'd cry, but I'm tired of feeling frustrated with this computer. This computer has been all frustrations these last weeks (yeah, I lost it because sometimes the mouse doesn't respond properly, so instead of clicking on the minimize button of a conversation window, the arrow moved conveniently to the X of the Internet Explorer...it was a good day, I could slit my wrists for losing the record of it).

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