Thursday, 06/30/05 - 9:51 pm.
The last story of june begins with a movie about a battered wife, and how much it affected me. Later, in the afternoon, I told Joseph about it, and thus going through a very awful moment in our whole relationship.
But before all that, I must say I'm so, so, so, so, so behind on a paper for tomorrow. I haven't started to put together everybody's part, but I already let them know they suck for leaving everything at the last minute. In other news, there was a hurricane-like storm, and while that happened, Irene was making puppets.
Ok, so I found Joseph around campus at about 4:15 pm. He had $10, that his parents had given to him to expressly take me out. So we'd agreed on going for ice cream. I told him I couldn't, I had class at 4:30 and a test was scheduled. You told me a class was cancelled. I told you the 6:30 class was. I didn't pay attention to that.
Luckily, I found Irene outside the classroom, when the class had started. See, it wasn't a class, really, it was a bunch of expositions. I asked her if the quiz was today or the lady had decided to do it tomorrow. No, it's for tomorrow...I grant you the permission to leave. So I left with Joseph, to an ice cream parlor that's, incidentally, in front of the coffeehouse.
And this is where the entry started. We were very quiet, when I had the brilliant idea to bring up the topic. We engaged in a heavy discussion, because his views on victims are rather..."special", yes? And they upset me. He started to explain something, and I interrupted half-way through his speech: what were you saying?.
His face changed completely. If our discussion was getting heavy, that just shut him up and we didn't say a thing for over 5 minutes. We didn't even looked at each other. I still had no regrets, because I was impressed by the way he blames victims. It was so, so awkward, and I didn't know what to say. After all, I'd been the rude one, he was simply stating his opinion. He moved his head, meaning "let's go". And we walked to the cafeteria, silently. It was like walking alone.
During that short stroll, I thought about what I'd said. I'd been rude, almost cruel. And that's when I started to build the courage to apologize, before he decided he wanted to leave the campus. In the cafeteria, he found a few acquaintances that made him laugh. Although I wanted them to leave so I could apologize, I knew they were helping me by putting him in a better mood.
Finally, they left, and I stood closer to him. That hurt me, he said. And thanking him -in my head- for taking the first step, I started to say I was sorry, that it was so fucked-up of me, etc. He still seemed hurt, but appreciated and accepted the apology. It's very mature of you, to take that attitude.
It was 5:30, time for my next class, but I had already started to patch things up. We sat on a table in a corner. When you did that, he said, you reminded me of my past girlfriends. I was like that with them; what you did to me was what I did to them. I guess in a way I'm paying for that. I learned it feels horrible. His day, he told me, had been crap.
So I started to make out with him, and for the first time -in my life, if I'm not mistaken- I put my hand between his legs. We had the longest kiss ever. What was that for?, he asked. I said it was guilt. We should fight more often. Thanks to our little make-out session, we were able to put the awful incident behind. And then he walked me to class.
On our way to the classroom, we ran into Grapehead and his girlfriend, dyed red-haired girl, Joseph's ex-girlfriend. Grapehead handed him a roll of bills. Someone paying his dues with Joseph. Well, this day is certainly improving.
When we got to the classroom, I was told the class was cancelled. I told Joseph. Well, this day is CERTAINLY improving. My luck is like heartbeats. I can't begin to explain that logic, but it was pretty cool.
So since it was raining softly (it'd been raining softly all afternoon) we went to a building and spent an hour there, cuddling and talking. I had to admit that my body is ready for love-making. But I'm still a little afraid. He insists making love doesn't hurt. I, uh...I don't know. Obviously.
It's one of the best times I've had with him. It was wonderful, we were sitting on the floor, against a huge column, and we were cuddling, while a very thin rain was falling. We were like that for an hour. We had to part because a huge storm was coming. So we kissed goodbye. We kissed a lot today.
I called my brother, and we left campus earlier, under a thunderstorm. While waiting for him I found Samuel, but it's nothing relevant. Anyway, on our way back home, my brother suggested we went to a certain store, to buy stuff. I said ok.
Traffic was awful, it took us like half an hour to go from the university to the store (when it'd be about 15 minutes). It was pouring when we got there, so I took out my umbrella. It was cute that he put his arm on my shoulder. We're not the type of siblings that do that. We get along well, but, for example, we only hug on christmas and New Year.
You know what he did? He bought me a 256 MB USB flash drive. And he bought my sister a 12 pack of Starbucks frappuccinos (although I'll be keeping 6). He bought a basketball for himself. He's a heavy costumer, I tell you. It was about $75 in the end, but he didn't let me help. He likes to spend his money on useful, quality stuff, even if it isn't for him. He's a walking Men's Health.
Speaking of, I learned from that magazine how to make the best out of an argument with your loved one. I kept it in mind, and that made me avoid jumping on him to kiss him desperately after realizing how cruel I'd been. Instead, I waited. You're altered, and the chemical reaction in your body is similar to foreplay. There, you make up the rest. It worked for me, ask Joseph.
When we came home, the lights went out, so I rested for a while, listening to George Harrison (I love George Harrison!). I'm thinking again about getting an iPod mini, I only have like two days to make my decision wheter I'll get it or not. It's $150...I don't know.
Oh, well, now the lights are back, and I need to start the goddamn 10-pages work. Thank you for your attention. Good night.
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