Saturday, 07/23/05 - 10:55 pm.
This morning I met a woman and her five children. I have no words, especially in a language that's not my mother language (namely english) to describe how awful it was heading downtown to that marketplace. It had leaks and puddles everywhere, and the smell was terrible. Poverty and the fear of getting robbed everywhere, but somehow I was excited. I guess I was finally "out there", being a psychologist (half of it, at least) for a reason.
Sara is the lady in charge of the project (my job about child abuse, mr. PhD, etc.), and her full time job is working with people, chidren mostly, at social risk. We, Victor and I, looked for her on the third floor of the building, in her small office. It was still rural, but a little away from the wreck of the marketplace. Shortly after Victor and I got there, the woman and her children, that were going to be interviewed, arrived.
Five children, and later I learned their drunken father had abandoned them. They hadn't taken a bath in days but managed to be very vivid. Two were 10, one was 8, and two were 7, these two being twins, a boy and a girl. I had to interview the lady first.
- Have you suffered any traumatic experiences during your childhood?
- "No, no, nothing. An uncle tried to rape me once, but nothing" (no sarcasm at all).
- How many members were there in your family?
- "I didn't meet my mother nor my father".
- How many members does your family have?
- "10"
- How many rooms does your house have?
- "2".
She makes $4 a day. If lucky.
- Has a close member of your family suffered from a strong disease this past year?
- "I have a daughter with AIDS".
I asked her questions about her oldest son. As you can tell, this is a very dysfunctional family, so he isn't showing a very encouraging chart.
- Does he talk about killing himself?
- "No, no. Just about killing others".
Last week, he took a knife and threatened his four siblings.
Afterwards, I interviewed him. He was nice, over all. Then I interviewed one of the twins, that was really adorable, however smelly. Both gave me answers like "I feel lonely all the time", and "it's ok to beat your children if they're late". I was biting my tongue, because I wasn't there to teach anything, I was merely applying a test to check if it was designed properly.
Victor applied the test to the girls, from the same family. At a certain point, he showed one of them a drawing, about a stranger offering candies and money to a girl, if she agreed to go with him. What do you think this girl could say or do?, was the question. The girl Victor was interviewing said: "she should accept the money and go live with him". It's part of the culture, 12 year-old girls are seen as adults and also objects, especially for sex.
My day includes other things, like finding John Lennon converse sneakers (unfortunately, I'll pass) and watching the motorcycle diaries with my nephew.
But back on the subject: the lady had very sad eyes, and I apologize for not being poetic with the description. She was explaining to me about the knife incident, and said: they're terrible, and I know that's because I don't spend much time with them...but if I spend time with them, they don't eat. Meaning she can't earn money, if it isn't clear. It's either being with them or feeding them.
However horrible the place was, all filthy and crowded, I wasn't as eager to get out of there as I thought I'd be. Yes, part of me wanted the safety of my house, but then there was the other part of me that told me that was actually the place to be.
After telling Joseph about this, he said I'd hear that kind of stories very often. Right. I feel SO much better now.
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