Saturday, 08/13/05 - 11:00 pm.
This Joseph guy gets on my nerves sometimes. Last night, we sort of had a fight. He was being oversensitive when we were talking online, just because I told him tomorrow I was meeting up with my friends. He took it as I was choosing them over him. What, I can't go out with my friends now, just because YOU think I have to visit you every sunday? He said something, and I didn't reply for a while. Suddeny he said well, I see you don't want to talk, good night. Ok...
I had to call him and explain him a few things, and I was very close to tell him "you're such a piece of shit sometimes". I refrained, but anyway, he ended up saying so (about himself, of course) and apologizing. We ended up having a more civilized conversation, but I'm afraid our conflicts are too hard to solve, because they come from our very own personalities.
So I'd planned on spending tomorrow afternoon hanging out with my friends, but Irene had something to do so we called it off. And after last night's conversation with Joseph, I decided I had to see him.
The whole day I tried to come up with an excuse to go to his house tomorrow, after or before meeting with my friends. This afternoon I made a plan and all, and after finding out I wasn't meeting with my friends, everything was easier. But now he's telling me he's down with fever and asks if we can postpone it. Well, it's not a question, more like a beg.
Now I am pissed off. It's not his fault, I guess I'm just frustrated, because I was actually looking forward to see him, I made this huge excuse and I have nothing else to do on sunday. All that, and now he tells me I shouldn't go to his house, after insisting all week long "are you coming on sunday?" like a "spoiled brat" (his words, not mine). I could beat the crap out of him right now. I'm glad he's sorry for insisting yesterday and for having to call it off today.
I'm tired of having to swallow my feelings, so I don't give a fuck if he's sick. I'm angry, I'm really pissed off at him for insisting so much the entire goddamned week and then calling everything off.
This afternoon I went to look for Angel's parents, to give them a package for him. They're here visiting and go back to Canada on wednesday. They weren't home, though, nobody was. I ended up going grocery shopping with my parents, which is something I stopped doing a long time ago. It wasn't so bad. It brought me memories, especially the toy isle.
My brother rented Prozac Nation. I thought it wasn't out yet. I liked it, but I prefer the book. But both are equally depressing. Ooohh, depression. That brings me memories, too (no, I've never been depressed like she was, I was more like extremely sad).
Ok, I guess what I'm trying to say is that sometimes I nearly hate Joseph, almost as passionately as I love him the rest of the time (ok, I don't hate him....but I'm really, really mad).
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