Tuesday, 10/09/01 - 5:32 p.m..
While I was hanging out with Denver, a friend of mine, talking about Middle Age tortures with sticks (please, don't make me describe them...) I found out that if you follow a ball with your eyes, you'll eventually wind up seeing the ball hitting some innocent soul in the head or shoulders. Priceless. As long as you're not that innocent soul.
Here's the power of listening: I'm in love again, holy fuck. Remember the guy I talked about once? No, not the guy, the boy I had a crush on...of course you don't. Well, we were talking on messenger. And he starts telling me how unhappy he is with himself...shit, he made me cry. I thought I had got over him but nope, I haven't. Specially yesterday, when I started thinking about him, how great and nice he is. I'm trying to get closer to him, at least to make him feel better. It's fuckin' useless. Despite everything, we're not that close. I made this garden-in-a-box for him. I get a box of matches, a few little plastic flowers and make a garden inside of it. It looks like any box of matches, but when you open it, flowers pop up.
Sometimes the things you see they just ain't so...your life can be an Avant Garden, 'cause love's what makes your garden grow... Avant Garden...who else? Aerosmith's. It's weird, that song didn't even exist when I started making that little shit, yet it has the same idea. That's Aerosmith. Unfortunately, I didn't get the response I was expecting. But I know he liked it. At the end of the day, he kissed me goodbye. Of course, in the cheek. But man, he does kiss fuckin' good....
the guy? Oh, yes...THE guy. I'm not over him yet, either. Go us.
Everything in life is about managing. You manage your money, your relationships, yourself, and have to manage your own management to be equibilibrated. Such would be the power of the human being....if it was used. I've noticed that the "human being" is being wasted. The people that are graduating this year from my school are fuckin' stupid, snob, and "daddy's little cutie" and other pieces of shit. That's why the world is going backwards. In 5 years, we'll be a 4th world country.
I have to go. Not necessarily "have to" but yet again, I'm not contributing on anything.
Conclusion from all of this?...Do I have to make one?
- "knock, knock"
- who's there?
- "yourself"
- me again? why the fuck am I still out?
- "because you haven't opened to yourself, you haven't let yourself in"
- why should I let myself in if I'm not out?.
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