Sunday, 10/23/05 - 5:30 pm.
I decided not to write yesterday, because I considered I had nothing to say. I was right. Instead, I worked on a few assignments and watched the movie Dear Frankie. It is not a Hollywood movie, and thus, it's something new. And so, so beautiful.
Today, on the other hand, I went and had sex with Joseph, but he never refers to the act as such, but to "making love". Which is a good sign, really. But, honestly? I hate sex. I'm sore right now. While he was thrusting, I started to recite all the theories on groups and leadership, which is the content of my Social Psychology midterm on wednesday...Joseph said I could do it, to ignore what was bothering me, but he started to thrust harder, because he says my intelligence turns him on. Ok. It still hurt. I cried again. I can't find the heart to tell him I don't enjoy it, even though he can tell. I hate this, I know he does enjoy it, and I know it actually means something, everything to him.
And now, I'm working on a psychological report, to turn in tomorrow morning. I'm a little depressed, but also somewhat excited, because I'm looking for plane tickets to go to Houston in december. No, wait...that always tears me apart, because I want to go and see (and help) my brother and his family, but I also dislike leaving everyone I love behind.