Rolling Voices.
Tuesday, 07/09/02 - 5:25 pm.

I have some things written on my hand, the voices in my head made me do it:
I HATE YOU. YOU SUCK. Reject me. Die!. Suicide. Murder! Go away. Fraud!!!.

On the other hand, I have written my assignments for tomorrow, and a message from Vic: Arrow, baby!. I don't use agendas. What do I have hands for? Ummm, yeah, right. But I pass on that one, thanks. I should erase those messages, though. Or else, my parental units will think I'm crazy, depressive and suicidal.

My day started in the worst way it could start. I saw Veronica. She was talking to Adri and I ran into them. I said "hi" and only Adri said "hi" back, Veronica kept talking like nothing.
- �Damn, what a bitch

That was enough to make me feel a raging sadness the whole day. Several times I ran into her, and either I'd ignore her or she'd ignore me. I hate her so much, but at the same time, I'm tired of feeling.
- ~How can someone who practically doesn't exist in your life have such an effect on you?~
- �You're jealous�.
- ~No, I'm not. I'm hurt~.
- �Are you a lesbian?�
- ~Of course not. I don't want to lick her vagina. I want justice. She fucked my whole life up~.

I've been terribly angry with no enthusiasm. I am Jack's lack of surprise. I've been arguing with the voices, too. They're brutally honest. Why is it that I suddenly start talking so much about them? It's just lately that I've stopped ignoring them. I mean, I always hear them, but it's just lately that I'm actually listening to them.

I had several conversations with them, but I can barely remember what we said. I do remember they were about Veronica and other stuff, like shooting people, and aisolation.

I did some things with Denver, but I really should stop telling that kind of shit. I'm in recovery.

Cel and Art had told me that they were going to "kidnap" me on the third recess.
- It's more like..., he tried to explain.
- ...like an alien abduction?.
- Let's say we're...uh, adopting you.
But in the end, they went to the school bookstore. I told them to go without me, I just wasn't in the mood. They understood. I do apreciate their concern. That's hard to find sometimes. They called me a few days ago, from Cel's house, just to say hi. That's very cute. They're very cute.

We're still seeing Fight Club in philosphy class. We've gotten to the Mayhem part, and when everything starts getting weird and freaky. I feel so related to the movie it's scary and exciting.

We have some things to do so this'll do it for now. It's time for a pow-wow in my head. I feel like the narrator in that room among Project Mayhem members, watching the TV.

Renan and Javier are here. We're going to the beach this weekend. Whoo-hoo. I have math exam on monday.

If you want to compare the voices and yours truly with something, you could mention Gremlins. Hi, I'm Gizmo.

- �Did you get to that conclusion yourself?�
- ~no, you did it~
- �What's the difference?�

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