Tuesday, 09/19/06 - 10:47 pm.
I saw Joe today, I hadn't seen him in a long time. With my growing love for Joseph (funny), I'd completely forgotten about Joe, except for a few times we briefly spoke. So I thought I was entirely over him.
I was with my friends, and he came to say hi. He talked mostly to Victor. They shook hands as a goodbye, and then Joe and I just waved at each other, because it's always been that awkward....I think he even once pointed that out. I'd never lean to kiss him friendly the cheek, as it's custommary. I feel so, say, on the edge, that even something so socially accepted would be considered by me as cheating on Joseph.
After the encounter, the three friends I was with (Michelle, Victor and Victoria) were talking about this "old flame" of mine. I just smiled, a bit embarrassed, a bit scared...I mean, is it THAT obvious? I've never talked to them about my crush on Joe. But they noticed. Michelle said it just showed, in my smile and the awkward way to say goodbye; they were saying it was easy to see that he was dying for me, and stuff. I only smiled at their comments. I didn't confirm or deny, so they took it that I confimed. Which might be true. I got worried for a while, thinking that perhaps I still do like him. I'm not sure, really.
I'm not too troubled about this thing right now, though. I'll just have to put up with their comments whenever I cross paths with Joe when they're around, though that doesn't happen too often. So, yeah, ok, ok, I still like Joe, very much. But I'm not leaving Joseph. Joe is someone who should've come earlier in my life, he's a could-have-been, for which I'm actually sorry that never happened. But Joseph is what-really-is, he's my present and my future.
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