Tuesday, 07/24/07 - 10:00 pm.
The trip was truly nice. The cabin is wonderful, and there was fog most of the time. But I didn't really rest like I hoped to, because my aunt was there and between her and my sister, they're always saying let's go here and there...let's go to this town to eat. Then let's go to the lake. Then let's go to this restaurant and let's stop at the town on our way home. And then let's stop for ice cream.
Fun, yes. But having in my nature the tendency to plant my roots quickly, it was also kind of annoying. I wanted to sit there, in front of the beautiful view and try to come up with...stuff.
The sad part is that a saw a corpse on the way home. Someone had run over an old man, and he was left in the middle of the road. It was awful, I wanted to cry.
***
Yesterday I went out with Joseph, and we ended up in bed, watching a debate and talking about politics, while eating fried chicken. Then we did other things in bed, the X-rated things. It was ok. I perform better when I don't plan on it. Last time I'd daydreamed about it the entire day, but when it happened, I ended up crying. I believe I have a severe trauma with rape that won't let me enjoy the intercourse. I do not know the cause of said trauma, but I'm 99.9% sure that it doesn't come from a first-hand experience.
Speaking of Joseph, I wish he paid me $30 I lent him. Well, I gave him $60, and he was terribly embarrassed to take them. He was, and still is, in a hurry to pay me back, but...he's as broke as when I lent him the money.
And guess what? He's losing his job! Most likely, anyway. Part of me is overjoyed, because I wish he got something more serious. The huge rest of me is devastantingly ('that a word?) worried because he, as a matter of fact, can't do much other than selling that kind of stuff.
He's aware of that, of course. In fact, that's what he fuels his arguments about him not being good enough for me. Love aside, though, his lack of abilities are indeed an obstacle if he wants to come and live with me abroad while I get my master degree/PhD. He's aware of that, too. He's aware of everything! The bad thing is that he doesn't do anything to change it. And options, there are.
But back to money. I wish he paid me because I'm in serious need of it. My mom has a ball in her ovaries again and needs surgery; one of my wisdom teeth is being taken out on friday, after X-rays showed it coming out in a horizontal position; my laptop has a problem in its cooling system, "turn off the computer inmediately and return it for repair". Christ.
I need to lay down. My gums are beggining to suffer.
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