Saturday, 10/20/07 - 10:53 pm.
I should be studying for my monday midterm. Instead, I'm having a terrible day. Here's why:
1. I learned through W that the gang thinks I've "abandoned" them (following last entry's comments about W...since everybody tells them their stuff, he's very well informed). That's funny, leaving one person in your group to do most of the work is also abandoning, and I've had plenty of that from them for nearly five years. So I'm very hurt and pissed off. S, my good friend, is doing some therapy on me, trying to ease my feelings. But they won't go away.
2. Also, W. kind of let me know I should be more demanding, because I wasn't fulfilling the objectives I was supposed to fulfill, with the Psychology of Learning laboratories. It was a low blow, considering he got to the objectives conclusion from what a student told him. It made me feel bad and incompetent, and the worst part is that it's true, I've probably been too generous with the students. The good news is that I still can change that. The bad news is that some things can't be undone.
3. I lost my cellphone at the movie theater. I was going there all happy, because I seriously needed a break from life. I came back home and found out I didn't have it with me anymore. At some point, I placed my purse on the floor, and my nephew, when going to the bathroom, dragged it a little. The phone was probably peeking out (I'd taken it out to silence it). My sister took me back to the theater, but we couldn't find it. He dialed my number but we couldn't see a light through the seats (and it was only vibrating, because I'm a piece of responsible shit) A new screening had begun, so there wasn't a lot more we could do to look for it. We left a number with the nice guy who helped us look for it, in case he found it. To top it all off, the call centers are dead. You hear about all these wonderful companies that come and get their awesome bussiness going on here, but in reality they don't care about you. So if someone found it right now, they could be increasing my bill. Joy.
4. I started to cry today because I have a lot of things to do, but not the will to do them. Let's just say today is one of those good old days when I feel like cutting myself and bleeding to death.
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