Wednesday, 05/21/08 - 10:49 pm.
On my 4th anniversary with Joseph, I ended up alone on his bed, crying silently because I was wondering if he was the person I wanted to spend my life with. We'd settled for a low-key celebration, but twice we started to discuss over a couple of things. And when we weren't discussing, we were talking, and I was sad at his lack of empathy for the human race.
So there I was, wetting his pillow. He thought I was asleep (he'd left me alone because we ate too much and I got sleepy), but when he noticed he was very alarmed. I told him this: we are so different I'm afraid eventually we'll drift apart...and it'd suck more if it happened once we're married and with children. I didn't tell him how I'm horrified at some of his views of the world, and while I know they're HIS views, they do bother ME. I always think he needs more information, or to be more sensitive.
When he saw me crying and got concerned, he was a different person than the one I was sobbing about. If there's a person he does get sentimental over is me. So we made up and the evening finished nicely. At one point I even thought I'd walk out of there single. We're in love in each other, so that pretty much saves the day. But we did agree that if we are ever to split, we'll remain friends, for the sake of the kids and for ourselves, because we owe each other a lot.
Having put that in the past, I took him tonight to see Indiana Jones. I didn't care much for the movie, but he'd said he wanted to see it. At the cubicle, this girl that's nice to me said she had two tickets for a special screening tonight (tomorrow's the official premiere), and she was giving them away because she wasn't interested. I took them, thanked her and so we went. Sitting next to him in a movie theater makes me feel weird, because I realize I really love him and I love holding his hand and having any kind of physical contact. I want to spend my life with him, regardless.
On family notes, it's Brother #1's birthday today, yay! My parents are in Canada right now, and I simply enjoy having the nights to myself.
I'll go to bed. Please pray that he gets the job.
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