Tuesday, 09/09/08 - 12:25 pm.
I think today I'll get my thesis grade. I won't be able to attend the meeting because I have my patient, and last week I cancelled our session because I was under the "you're not graduating" menace. We pulled it off, we fixed the things we were supposed to fix in our thesis, so hopefully we won't find any more bumps on the road. I'm still nervous, though.
Last night I had the worst nightmare. Brother #3 (finally abroad getting his PhD!) had passed away. I was at church and the place was packed, but no one was listening to the priest. I was in awe, and the pain was unbereable. And yet no one really seemed to care that much, some people were planning on going out with friends after the service. I was in denial, and then I was at the dining table with my mom and dad, and asked them if he really was dead. It sunk in and I started to cry and perhaps when I woke up I was frowning. How awful. I wanted to kick my psyche for making me dream such thing. It was so vivid, horrible.
On less tragic but more real news, Joseph finished another english level with a score of 8.7 or something; I was proud of him. But yesterday I learned he won't be taking the next course, due to lack of money. His mom doesn't have any money and he actually owes her about $800 from when he had his credit card.
I'm really upset about this, and while I know the proximal cause of him not attending this course is out of his control, I'm mad that he never managed his money wisely when he did have. Just look at the debt he left for his mom, no wonder she won't pay for the course, even though she's as interested as I am in seeing him do something useful. No jobs are coming along and now we're back to the beggining of the year. He spends his days on some online game, goes out with friends when they invite him or take him to tournaments (which are kind of a way of making money, but he's not in it for the money so he never earns anything; go figure), waits around. He's supposedly enrolled for training at a call center, but he doesn't know when it begins. That's nothing to me.
I don't want him to be rich and I don't want him to buy me stuff. I just want to see him make enough so that when I want to go out with him I don't have to pay for everything, and so that he can pay for classes of something, anything, to prepare himself; and because I need to see him like a partner who won't waste our money once we're living together. He's not that compulsive, but he stills needs to learn to spend responsibly. He says that he'll let me manage our money entirely, but I'd like some help, too.
Me, I'm in the translating bussiness, and I have made my first $25. I'll get paid (hopefully) on thursday when I meet up with the guy in charge. As an instructor at the university, it's going. I'm bummed that I won't get paid half-time given I do work half-time. But I stayed for other reasons, and I think I need the closure of this one last semester in the university.
I'm sick, too. Argh.
P.S.: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JOE PERRY!!!
(sept. 10th, but I tend not to update daily anymore).
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