Monday, 04.19.10 - 3:59 pm.
I start my child-adolescent psychotherapy course this evening. I'm excited about it, although a bit lazy because the weather is amazing to just stay home and sleep.
On heavier news, since last night WrongGuy has contacted me through: one 16-minute-long late night cell phone call, one invitation to the movies, one to a certain market, two text messages, one Facebook message, on shorter phone call and five missed calls. God. DO NOT WANT!
On...heart-wrenching news, I got to see CR yesterday afternoon. We slipped on oil on the street while we were in my car, which was both scary and awesome, and CR said I have remarkable reflects to handle the situation very well. Our late friend Fer told him how to deal when the car slips on oil and I did that. Cool, yes.
We headed to the movies but the movie had already started, so we sat by a window with a view to the hills that have been eaten away by civilization. And what does agent Smith say about us?, said CR in a professor-like manner. Why, that we're a virus, of course. We killed some time while the rain passed and the time for my friend Monica's cafe to open arrived.
At the caf�, CR and I had a very long conversation about Joseph, that...I don't know how it makes me feel, really. It's very sad, mostly. I smiled a couple of times, I almost cried once. Like I said in my last entry, Joseph deserves an entry of his own right now, due to all the information I've been given and the ellaboration I've done on my own. I can't do that right now.
But in a nutshell, I have fooled him. He thinks I bounced back from the break-up without scars (when in reality I still have a fresh wound). My "poker face", as CR calls it, owned Joseph's. He still lives at his parents' house with his wife and baby. He holds a lot of resentment towards me. He thought I didn't love him anymore. The last times he's met with CR all he talks about is me (this is where I almost cried)...etc.
I have a lot to say about this, but I always come down to the same closing line: you left me because you wanted to, Joseph. This was your decision. In spite of how much I failed you, you chose to leave because you had a younger tail, a fantasy to chase. You wanted an adventure and CR only says about you: be careful what you wish for; you may get it. Good luck with that.