One can't go around the world giving what one stands for away.
Saturday, 10/05/02 - 4:37 pm.

The unthinkable has happened...I was on the computer, and the doorbell rang. I stood up, walked accross the room and then the telephone rang. I walked accross the room back to the computer (the telephone is next to it) and answered it...

- Me: Hello?
- Someone: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah?
- Me: Yetta, yetta...yetta yetta yetta?
- Someone: Blah, blah...blahblahblahblah?
- Me: Ok, bye.

I really didn't pay attention to anything, because I was focused on finishing the conversation and getting the door. When I hung up and walked accross the room and looked out the window, there was no one at the door.

Which makes for a nice situation, because I hate answering the phone AND getting the door.

I feel kind of bad because of the burned CD. I just worked on it. Got a copy of the cartoon strip of the booklet and stuck it on the back of the CD case. It looks neat. For the cover, I'm gonna make a small collage. And for the CD, I'll try to get the sex positions on it. Not the stupid "Hi, I'm marketed at outlets like Walmart" presssing. For anything else, I'll get different letters and put them together, like those death threat letters people get in the movies. It's going to look wonderful.

That's what gets me down: it's wonderful...and I'm giving it to someone that won't appreciate it.

So I was also planning on writing: happy birthday, bastard as the birthday message. But then I thought he might take it as me telling him "hi, I was in love with you, you hurt me, but I still am in love with you"....err, which is true. But I think I've done a good job hiding it and pretending I don't care in front of him, there's no need to show that now.

I'll give all that to him on friday, november 1st. Because I was thinking that on his birthday (november 4th), it's the final math exam. People will be nervous. Plus, I can already picture all the girls he gets wet (literally speaking), running behind him -like people did on that lame Hulk Hogan's cartoon show (but I admit it, I'd watch it religiously)- to be the firsts to congratulate him...all those girls' arms wrapped around him, kissing him and hugging him and going: OhmygodHAPPYBIRTHDAY! and such. I'll save the holiday rush and the embarrasing "get in line".

I know I could have just gotten the CD burned, the names of the songs written with my own handwriting and given it to him just like that. But there's an essential reason why I'm doing my best to make it look so cool. And no, it's not because I love him. The reason has nothing to do with him. The reason is beyond human comprehension. The reason is the answer to existence itself:

Aerosmith.

And you can't go around the world giving away burned Aerosmith CDs without a proper touch that can make the hardware be at least a little, little bit as special as the software, you know what I mean?

Yes, I love this band so much.

So, there...my oh, I'm so fuckin' smart plan is made. This is stupid. In my conditions, I shouldn't even congratulate him. In reality, he won't even care.

I'll show you something nice. Go here and near the bottom of the pic, second row, behind the huge sign, spot a woman in red pants, next to two men in suits.

Do it now, dammit.

Ok, now that you've spotted them, look again, and see the guy behind those three people. Most specifically, between the woman and the two men.

That's my brother.

He was on TV yesterday...on every channel. He's a spokeperson. He said that our president is a bastard and he doesn't give a flying fuck about people and only laughs at this situation. Well, he didn't use those words, but that's what he meant. The president mocked. But it's not hard to tell he pretended to find this situation oh, so funny, because everybody is turning against him.

My mom is concerned about this. During the civil war, if you spoke against the government, you'd be tracked down and murdered the next day. I don't think that's going to happen, but they could take legal actions (that would interfere with my brother's plan to leave for the US). All of the doctors of the public hospital literally gave away the hospital and the patients to the government, because they (the government) claim to have everything under control. Which is not true. The thing is, when they gave it away, they gave the Hospital Director a list containing the names of all the doctors. Very brave, I think. "Hi, my name is [insert name] and I am not afraid to say I want change".

All in all, this is kind of good. If the union wins, there'll be no more privatization threats. No privatization means no one loses their job and the people still will be able to afford medical care.

That's why they fight. Because one can't go around spreading neo-liberalism, specially in third world countries. It puts a price to human dignity.

Anyway, onto less polemic subjects...I woke up this morning, and I was still tired. I felt like I had been dreaming for 24 hours in a row. I had the longest, pointless dreams.

I keep getting back to his gift. I'm not happy about it. Because he won't be happy about it. I mean, he won't be unhappy either...he just won't care.

prev / next