Saturday, 05.09.2015 - 6:23 pm.
You know, I may look back on these years and think these are the years I looked my best. I look myself in the mirror and I'm digging how I look. There's nothing outstanding about it, I just like it. Well, I thought the same after Joseph dumped me, I was feeling like crap and yet I got hot (lolololol). I suppose the difference now is that on top of feeling nice-looking, my heart is mended.
I don't think I haven't changed much, other than the fact that I've gained some weight (which is almost inevitable in this life stage, research shows...I should know, it relates to my job). But even so. I've come to accept my naturally curly hair as well, and with that acceptance comes better care. Funny. I spent years flat-ironing my hair -and still occasionally do- because my curls were unruly. Straight hair is easier to look after indeed, and it feels amazing, but, you know...it's also good to come to terms with what you were born.
Onto other topic, I'm having the most relaxed saturday. Although I've spent a few hours preparing my class for monday, I've had most of the day off, as it should be, as it is hard to be lately. The downside is that Andrew is working the whole day, teaching a class. It isn't even his, he's covering for a colleague but of course he'll get paid for it.
I worry that we work too much. Well, more him than me for sure, but both of us are exhausted and there seems to barely be any spare time, even on weekends. It's us making an effort, I guess. Not just for the extra cash, though it's needed*, but also because we like both research and teaching. Even if we are tired, we still can deal with it and we know when to stop (like me giving up being a therapist even though it hurt). We need to climb up the experience ladder. We are not talking about success or getting rich (like hell that's gonna ever happen) but making a living while doing a damn good job.
* Andrew has his debts** and I have my intense drive to save money. There may be a side job on the horizon for the both of us, and while we are gasping for a breath of spare time, we think, "hey, maybe we will
** One of these relate to his brother's burial. May marks the 6th month since his passing. Andrew doesn't talk about it and I let him be; sometimes he speaks of him remembering a very specific trait, he used to do this or that. One of these days a friend stopped by to say hi, a friend we hadn't seen since last year, and Andrew told him. Briefly, like an explanation for something else: "...but my brother died in december so...". But just with that, his eyes got teary and red instantly, and he steered away from the subject. The friend didn't linger on that piece of information and didn't ask anything else, and I know Andrew appreciate that.