Saturday, Jan. 23, 2016 - 6:44 pm.
My nephew arrives tomorrow!!! Everything is ready: his room with a bed, food portions for three instead of two, etc. I am a bit concerned about the outcome of his trip, I hope he'll get busy and hopefully will be accepted in the university and find funding to stay in it.
I admit I am also slightly concerned about two people in this house turning into three. We get along wonderfully, that is not the issue. It's just that -I said it in the last entry, I think- Andrew and I are used to being just the two of us. It's a matter of habit though. We have to make some arrangements to our routines and that's that. Andrew and my nephew are one of a kind, too, and we agree that it'll be nice to have him around.
He arrives tomorrow in the afternoon. I CAN'T WAIT!
My birthday was neat. It was just Andrew and I, really. He made me breakfast and then gave me a gift (I thought the Moleskine diary was it): a Falco Lombardi amiibo! He knows how much I love the Starfox saga. Then, for dinner, he made an outstanding lasagna and bought chocolate cake, and got me roses. He also gave me a massage. Days later, another present arrived: a massive David Bowie book! That was the original gift but he got me the amiibo because the order got delayed.
Man, what a wonderful feeling to be loved like that. I don't mean the gifts, although they are a nice touch. But he's just so sweet and loving, and it's great to share and build a life with a man like him. And this doesn't mean we don't get into conflicts from time to time, but those conflicts are relatively small and temporary (no dealbreakers, if you will) and we're both equipped well enough to work them through.
However, I felt like coming here and writing a few days ago, because I found myself obsessed with past lovers and crushes (Joseph included but he was not the only one). I could simply not focus on my present relationship, however awesome it is. It was the strangest thing.
It could be because one or two weeks ago I dreamed with Joseph. And this time, as the narrative of my dreams with him has progressed over the years, I found myself back in his bedroom: we were talking. I'm not sure if we...if I had made peace with him or if we were about to reconcile and get back together.
A few days later though, I read a piece about how, if you get involved with a writer, he or she may talk about you in her writing. Well, yes, I thought, my two last books of short stories have been heavily influenced by my history with Joseph, or rather his absence. But at the end of that piece it said that it was best to write about people who deserve to be honored or remembered, while for some other people is just best to let them fade, from your memory and from your writing. That may sound very simple and obvious, and something I should have done years ago, but it was powerful to me.
I'll make the effort not to mention that guy Joseph again. I do have other things to write about.
Oh, and some young woman wrote me on Facebook, asking if I'd written a book that she loved so much. She was talking about my first book, which came out in 2004. She said she loved it, and that she admired me. Jesus Christ. Thank you so much, young woman. I can't believe someone would like it so much to take the time to find me and tell me. It's just a bunch of silly stories.