An entry before one leaves for college.
Friday, 01/03/03 - 12:07 am.

Well, today's the day when I finally start college. It's not exactly college, because the career starts until march, but...I just start going to college, ok?

I found a liquor filled chocolate. Jack Daniel's. That name only reminds me of Aerosmith. I hate liquor...and this one in particular tastes like Liquid Paper. But the bottle-shaped chocolate rocks.

To be honest, I am somewhat excited about college. Not OMG OMG OMG OMG!!! excited, just yay, I guess excited. At least I'm looking forward to something completely new for me. Just a couple of hours before I'm on my way to the UCA.

Elsy asked me last night if I was scared. I was scared. But right now, I find nothing to be scared of. I mean, I'm just a retarded little girl joining a bunch of retarded kids. Besides, I'm meeting with Victor before the class begins.

- Victor: I'm interested in finding out if a certain girl that I saw will be with us...I saw her the day of the exams, and she's studying psychology...
- Me: man, you're fast.

Monologue in front of the mirror -one hour later-: I don't give a damn if you get a girlfriend there! I'll be happy for you, JUST DON'T LEAVE ME, PLEEEEASE! Don't leave me, I need you...*cries*

He's the only thing I have left from the past. My only friend right now. I need something to hold onto. I want him to sit next to me, so I won't feel completely forsaken.

Denver was on last night, and he only talked to me to ask me about leap years. It's funny how he always brings up shit we talked about weeks, months ago. Well, at least he remembers.

We didn't talk again. Until, about 20 minutes later, he said: hey, I'm logging out. See ya. I hesitated for 10 seconds. Do I say goodbye? I didn't. I set myself to appear offline. He remained online for another minute or so, and then logged out.

I really don't know how I felt about that.

I have to go. Wish me luck.

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