Monday, 02/03/03 - 6:48 pm.
Hi, I'm still downloading Yellow Submarine. It's been almost 20 hours since yesterday, and it hasn't downloaded more than 40% (having in mind I turned off the computer at 12:30 am today and started downloading again at 6:00 pm).
I saw the 15 minutes on my computer. The first 7 minutes...I said "that's it, I'm deleting it". But then the song started..."in the town where I was born..." (Awwww Mr. Starkey...) and it became very too fuckin' funny. I'm sticking around. Sometimes the remaining time is 456 hours, sometimes -like now- is 11.
I don't care for waiting, it's The Fuckin' Beatles.
(is it legal to say "fuckin' Beatles"?)
***
I had to go to the UCA earlier today. I was kind of hoping I'd get to see D, at least for one minute (how pathetic of me).
So I walked accross the "halls" (or whatever you may call those half-tunels), it was about 12:30 pm. Exactly the time he's picked up by his father, in the spot my dad picks me up. Or so I tend to believe, having in mind his route.
I saw him approaching...I'd promised myself I'd hug him whenever I saw him. So I smiled, as we walked toward each other, going in the opposite direction.
We hugged, and we said hi, and we talked about any crap. He said "hey, I'd better get going". And hugged me again, and after that, we faced each other, and looked into each other's eyes for a split second...and that's all it took...I know he knew...I knew...we both knew it can't be any other way but this.
Err...
Sadly, that didn't happen. I mean, it did...just the two first paragraphs. I didn't get to see him. My mom took too much time to get out of her office (my dad and I were picking her up, and after that, I was being dropped off at the UCA). I know I missed him for roughly 10 minutes. But I kept imagining something like that would happen, I kept praying for that to happen.
I prayed to God. To please let me see him. I realized I'm scared to have hope. I don't want to be let down YET AGAIN. So although I was praying with all my heart, I didn't want to pray. That's like hoping. And this is hopeless. Part of me says I should be positive, because that's what makes things happen, but I just don't want to be let down. I'm scared to have faith. I'm pretty sure it doesn't work.
There you go, he was not there by the time I arrived. I didn't see him.
But even if I had, it wouldn't have changed anything, would it?
prev / next