Friday, 02/14/03 - 7:29 pm.
I don't quite believe in Valentine's Day. For several reasons, besides the well-known "oh, it's too commercial".
Still, I made a few notes and wrapped Santa Claus chocolates with them, for my UCA friends. The UCA course finished today, and right on time: 80% of the classmates hates us. I don't know why. But today in particular we could feel the hostility. Besides, we were told by someone. We weren't wrong. They do hate us.
Anyway, that's life, I guess.
My friends and I went for an ice cream after classes. We're not gonna see each other for about two weeks. And we're kind of concerned about getting a different schedule and, therefore, not being together. All of their last names begin with C or A, only mine begins with O. That's a small problem for some paperwork.
I'm stuffed. I had lunch with my brother today. It was great. We went to Burger King, and we talked just about anything.
Irene gave me a heart-shaped cookie. Victoria gave me a little note, and a another girl gave me another note. And added to that, Rod sent me a text message to my cell phone. I love text messages. So that's about what I got for Valentine's Day. But that's ok, I'm used to that. At school, a lot of people'd give you little notes, but I really don't miss that.
I feel less depressed than these past days, but I'm still not in the mood to be with people (my friends at the UCA are an exception though). I'm not in the mood to go through Valentine's Day. Such an empty day.
I did think of D today, so much I even cried. But because I was thinking of the good things he gave to me. He did give me good things. The hugs, the "I love you"'s on IM, the two nice e-mails and, yes, even the biting. I felt really sad, thinking about all that. From the moment we started biting for fun, through his nice hugs, to the fact that he'd walk me by and pretend I wasn't there...to this. To the point where everything has burned down.
Days ago, I'd thought of sending him a letter today. To say goodbye. But since I already said goodbye to him, I don't talk to him anymore. I don't even log into the MSN messenger. I feel kind of relieved though. I don't have to put up with dumb, dying conversations, let alone his silence. I think I said goodbye right on time.
But it still hurts to think for him I'm worthless. It's unbelievable how cold he is now, specially to me.
I'm listening to She Loves You. Someone should sing that song to him.