Monday, 03/03/03 - 9:29 pm.
I hate my sister. I hate that bitch. She's destroyed something so beautiful. She's fucked it up. SHE'S FUCKED UP EVERYTHING.
Screams, HORRIBLE screams all over the house, yelling and arguing, raising the voice, my dog barking (I'm sure she understood)...I was afraid the neighbors would call the cops. No....in fact, I was HOPING the neighbors would call the cops, so they would take her away.
Gosh, how I hated her. I prayed for her to burn in hell, I was praying for my parents to do something about that. But no one can no anything about her, she's a fuckin', authoritary bitch, and I hate her, no one can tell her anything. And now she's fucked everything, EVERYTHING!
And she made my mom cry. And she broke my dad's heart. And she made me cut myself (and I was doing SO well so far) and I've been crying since the episode, 3 fuckin' hours ago, tears can't seem to stop. She's destroyed it. It's her fuckin' fault, it's only her fuckin' fault, she's so fuckin' selfish!
I hate her. I don't want to talk to her. Somebody take her son away from her. How could she do THAT?! I can't fuckin' believe it!
And after 20 minutes of "violence" (there's no other word) and yelling and arguing, she left the house, taking her son, my 6 year old nephew, with her. And then...complete silence. Like something had died. Maybe it did.
I stayed in my room crying silently, wishind I could call her bitch and stab her. But instead I could only slice my arm.
SHE'S NOT MY SISTER! I HATE HER, I HATE THAT BITCH! I HATE HER SO MUCH, I HATE HER!!!!!!!
And I'm scared. I'm really, really scared. I don't remember getting this scared ever, and crying over it. But I'm really scared.
I'm crying, and I'm bleeding because I'm pissed off at her, because she let us down, because I hate her for what she's done, and because I'm scared.