Another chapter of life in which I don't fit in.
Friday, 03/07/03 - 1:42 pm.

So yesterday it was my official first day of college. It kind of sucked. There's nothing interesting to talk about it, except that my friends (Victor, Irene, Angie and Victoria) and I went into the wrong classroom. And when we got to the right one, we had to sit at the back. Those fuckin' classrooms are like movie theaters and being at the back is not fun (how lame of me, I'm such a nerd).

We had two classes yesterday....no, we didn't exactly have classes, just explanations about the classes themselves. We're sharing subjects (and therefore classrooms) with other careers, so I really don't know who's with me for psychology or for philosophy or whatever else.

Like I cared.

Today I get to be separated from my friends, because for this class (that I don't even remember its name right now) there are two groups, arranged by the initial letter of the last name. Joy, I'm gonna be alone with dozens of strangers. But I'm not dying to be with my friends either. Whatever.

Walking in those hallways, among all those kinds of strangers...*sigh* the last months of high school I promised myself I would change when I went to college. I'd be this cheery, friendly girl, saying hello to whoever sat next to her, and I'd make myself fit in. But I couldn't. That's not me. I can't change. And I'm not sure I want to. I find myself having the same attitude, and feeling like an outcast. And I find myself not caring, because I don't care to be with nor get to know all those strangers.

The first thing that came to my mind when I got in my dad's car (when he picked me up) is that I didn't like it. I'm sorry, I don't like college. I don't regret taking psychology, I just...don't like college. Of course, it's just the first day of five years, I can't jump to conclusions yet. I'll do it tonight.

Something is kind of bothering me, besides that. I always feel that way after talking to Veronica, though. I start thinking of my "friends" and...it just bothers me. I've been thinking a little about D. Just...thinking. Not missing him or anything.

I start driving on monday. I'll probably crash and die. Anything that gets me to coma will be ok with me.

I want another life.

(Hi, this entry took me exactly the entire With The Beatles album --33:24...I add and edit a lot, you realize--)

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