Friday, 09/07/01 - 9:43 a.m..
I didn't win an MTV moonman. Neither my boys (Aerosmith) did.
Holy damn shit, I finally got to sneak in an entry. I needed, I was dying to do it yesterday but things just didn't turn out like I expected.
Veronica came over. I sort of feel good with her, but after all, I finally realized she's not my friend anymore. We kind of had a good time though. She made me wear this huge earrings and I couldn't take them off...they were rippin' off my ears, it was a torture. At night I tried to watch the VMAs, in case my Boys (Aerosmith) would appear or even better, win (which they didn't, which sucked a lot...along with the entire show). I asked my dad to let me watch it but he said NO, that these kind of things don't leave anything good for me at all so I was allowed to watch only one hour because I had to study, blah, blah, blah....Shit, I got pissed off and went to my room. I happen to have a TV in there with no cable, but a local channel was broadcasting the whole damn thing...screw you dad!!! It's tough but yesterday I wished he'd die...I was so fuckin' mad. Just a couple of days before he didn't let me participate in this contest to see Aerosmith live...*sigh* Nothing I like it's good for him and he just can't stand it. And he can't even respect it. He has to come and spit out in my face (literally...) how shallow is all. He thinks I'm stupid. He thinks I'm shallow. I'm not, dammit. But that's the only thing he notices in me. He said my brothers had to give up football and parties to study when they were younger...my brothers are responsible, intelligent and everything, but I'm afraid one of them, Alan, will have a stroke. He spends his entire life studying. What the fuck does my father want me to do?!?!? I'm doing really good at school, enough to earn some rights, like going out or something. It's not that I'll ask him for money to buy condoms.
I finally opened my eyes and see that I'm in a cage. I never go to parties, I can't go by myself ANYWHERE, I can never have friends over unless it's for studying, God forbid if I get along with boys. Fuck you, father...I know you want the best for me and you do take care of me but you're not letting me grow up as I should.
Ok, enough of this crap. Next crap on the list is that I got to school today and I started talking to my friend, former twin, Dany. He's claims to be a schizo and his other personality is Young Man Dan. I love hanging out with him. I told him about the earrings and I stated friends don't make their friends wear heavy earrings. He said: one thing you don't seem to have noticed is that she's not your friend. I replied: Yes, I know. That's why I said it. I love that guy. He's honest and understands me...most of times.
Well, that was the uncrappy part. The crappy part is that thinking about it all, Veronica's not my friend and never will be again. Yesterday she said that her boyfriend enjoys when I'm with both of them and today I walked up to them and they basically didn't pay a lot of attention to me. Yesterday she said that she doesn't want to spend all the time with him...and there she was today, talking with him, both of them stuck to each other...
On a brighter side...shit, there's no brighter side today. I still have exams tomorrow...on saturday morning!!! *sigh* It all (and some more) is pathetic...
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