The soundtrack to a day like today.
Wednesday, 11/07/01 - 11:40 a.m..

Holy fuck, I did it. I want to thank, first and foremost, God, for being such a cool dude.

I dare to say....I'll get a 7-8...even a 10. Yes, in math. I first looked at the exam and although I didn't get a single word of any problem, I didn't panic. Two hours and a half after I started, I was done. Then, psychology...psychology, HA! So easy. Anyway, I did my part. Now it's time for my math teacher (Crosty) to do the math. 7 and 6 both months. 7+6, divide by two and multiply by 0.7, that's 70% of my final grade. The other 30% is this exam. Do the math.....no, nevermind. Don't do it. Math sucks.

I wasn't even thinking about math last night, neither today, until the exam started. My day-dreaming was about finding someone. I don't know who. Someone. Not the guy. We're...it's just that it won't happen. So, I'm with someone, watching my children play...I mean, my nephiew and niece. They're my children. And while they're playing in the park, I'm just talking with that someone. And he understands me. I do understand him. I don't know why, but I can't never imagine a "her". Since that happened with Veronica, I realized that I have better relationships with boys. I've lost many "best friends". Beggining a new year at school meant finding a new best friend, for one reason or another. The girl left school or she was in another classroom. That was the most common reason. Then I found Veronica in 4th grade. Then we found Carmen in 7th grade. Then they dumped me in 8th grade. That's when I opened my eyes and I realized many things. I keep realizing many things, everyday.

Dammit, where was I? Oh, yes. We understood each other. That was basically it. Then I remembered my first kiss with the guy. July 5th. The first kiss isn't such a big deal as I thought. Maybe because he was more into lust than love. I still don't understand why the first kiss is such a big deal...but then I remember his face next to mine and it's maybe because it gives you that feeling of being connected to someone else, who's feeling the same as you. I suppose that if I ever get to find another "someone", I'll have another "first" kiss. Anyway, that's about it.

A few minutes ago, I had such a smile it didn't fit in my face. It was huge. Once I made a cartoon in a text book, where Simeon appears, dressed as a painter and starts painting half of the smile. When he finishes the painting, he takes off the funny hat and throws away everything. Then he takes out the smile and he puts it on his face. That's a classic cartoon of mine. Ok, like I said, the smile thing was a few minutes ago, before I started feeling melancholy about something that has really never happened. Anyway....I think I'll get a decent grade at math. That's why I'm happy.

Plus, Norman burned me this CD...it's from a band called Chain Reaction. They sound a little Beatles-que. And it's pre-Aerosmith. It's Steven's band when he was a teenager. They only released two singles, four songs. That was in 1969 or so.

It comes once a day
Thru the shade of my window
It shines on my bed
my rug and my floor
It comes once a day
Thru the shade of my window
It comes once a day and not more
.

"The Sun".

The guy just called me. He's unsure about math. Dammit. Then he said he wanted to....you know. I said I didn't. Then we talked about school, about me becoming a jesuit (just kidding) and a few other shallow subjects. We tried to make up a "story" but it just didn't turn out well. I mean, I wasn't in the mood for that. I never am, really, but it hasn't been long since I've already got the balls to say no. Isn't assertiveness the best? I invited him over to study tomorrow...I mean, Melvin and Veronica are coming already. I just invited him to study. No more.

You should have been here yesterday
My love she left, Went away
I felt down, yes I felt down
I really needed someone who
Could help me see the next day thru
Stick around
You should have been here yesterday
You should have been here anyway
The house was on fire
And I know we couldn't go higher
Yesterday.
I didn't think that she was right
I couldn't sleep or think that night
She was gone, she was gone
Although I felt so very small
You could have helped me with one call
I was home
.

"You should have been here yesterday". That was my mantra in 8th grade, when I didn't have anyone to be with me....when I needed someone..."when I needed you"...

When I wanted you
For my own
When I wanted you
But you just left me alone
When I wanted all you had
And what you gave me turned out so bad
I needed all your love
.

Ok, I guess I've talked too much already. Or maybe that's just my paranoia. Anyway, those songs are highly reccomended. They make a good soundtrack for a day like today.

It's a shame that I'm so happy. I have no one to share my happiness with. I really need someone to be here today and share it with me. Well, at least Simeon is here *Simeon waves*

- Hey, you know that you need 24 pages to see me for a second?.
- What the fuck are you talking about?
- You need 24 pages to draw one second of a motion cartoon.

[General-Culture capsule sponsored by The Tiny Cow.]

prev / next