Monday, 11/12/01 - 6:07 p.m..
I watched Miss Congeniality last night. It was...nice. I liked it. I specially liked the fact that they didn't use a good-looking-hottie guy to match with the girl. I mean, they were realistic. They used a common-looking guy. According to a teeny-bopper: he's soooooo not cute. But hey, not all of the boys are as-seen-on-TV. Thank God.
Anyway, I feel much better. It's like you wake up one day and your fever is gone. You feel healthy. Well, I don't feel healthy. But I feel much, much better. God and his master-piece, life, have misterious ways to work everything out. So right now...I feel a bit indifferent, but I can feel how my mood is going up. The biggest highlight of the day is that I sewed. No big deal, I know. Another highlight is that I had several laughs out of Frog. I put a little woodcutter shirt on her. She looked like a woodcutter dog (duh).
I have nothing to do. I don't want to do anything. So I guess I'm ok.
I was looking into my eyes today. I like my eyes. I like my eyelashes. I don't need those...things that make them curly. They're naturally curly (yay). I've been told that before. By girls who use that...thing that make eyelashes curly. Hell, what a feature. After a long, long time of thinking it over, I realized that what I love the most in people is their eyes. They talk and always tell the truth.
I love to look into your big brown eyes
they talk to me and seem to hypnotize
they say the things nobody dares to say....
Go Aerosmith. Steven and I have the same eye color.
It's a sad thing...today's plane crash. It...um, sucks, to say the least. Thank God my brother doesn't live in NY anymore. When they told me they were moving in to Texas I got a bit upset. I really liked NY and I wanted to get back. Now, instead, I get to go to Houston, which is way different but it's as interesting as NY. Now, I'm only afraid of those four fuckin' hours I'll be on the plane. No, it's not terrorism. If I have to die, so be it.
What worries me the most is that probably my stupid..."monthly event" will arrive on the 24th, which is when I leave. God, that's gonna be painful. I once told Dany it pissed me off that girls had been cursed with this thing. He said: It's not a curse. It's a blessing. You women have been blessed with bringing a new life to this world. That made me change my mind.
He was right. But still, it sucks. Some boys have asked me if it's that bad...fuck, it is. It's like someone grabs the muscles below your stomach and presses and twists them so fuckin' hard you have to bend. It's like a cramp. But it can last hours.
Anyway, this travelling-by-plane thing has worried my mom the most. She's really worried about me. Yeah, I'm worried about me, too. I might get lost in the airport. What if they believe I'm dangerous? What if they find something to blame me for? What if the plane crashes?....fuck, I'll just go with the flow. It's just half-day of psychological torture.
I'm so fuckin' weird. I hadn't noticed my behavior pattern on the MSN Messenger. I noticed that everytime I log into the MSN thing, I'm wishing that no one is online. And if there's someone, I log out. And if there isn't anyone, I set "appear offline", so I can see who's online but they can't see me. I don't know why I do it. Simeon says it's because I want to have some human contact but when the thing is signing me in I kind of think that I don't want to talk to anyone of my list. Go me. It's true. I really have nothing to talk about with any of them. 16 people. I know what time each of them go online. I have the average time they stay online. I know them. But there's nothing I want to talk about with any of them.
Guess what? Aerosmith....playing in Texas....in december....december 5th. Texas...Dallas, Texas. Not Houston. I know, I've mentioned it before. But I'm still dissapointed. Well, not much. At least....at least I'll save money. Money. Fuck it, I'd pay anything to get the chance to meet them and tell them of much they are part of my life. Not only because of the music. Is it destiny? Is that meant to be? I still don't know if destiny does exist. But Julio, the jesuit, said that every good philospher has to question himself about everything. Then I question myself.....is it fuckin' fair that I, a HUGE Aerosmith fan, who knows and love the new and the old shit, always have to be missing those chances when there are teeny-boppers-flashing-"hot-shirtless"-Joe-and-"cute-little-ass"-Steven in front row just because THEY LIKE JADED??!!??!! That's not fuckin' fair. But hey, this is life.
Now I'm pissed off. I mean, in a good way. I might become the next Alanis Morissette (or whatever her name is spelled). But I'd always stay in the Jagged Little Pill phase. Or at least I won't become that boring....and I'd better have a band. Like Aerosmith. But that won't be this week.
I'll go to do nothing. It's time for supper. Then it's time to do nothing. I'm going to start working on Simeon's new book, I guess. I still don't know if it'll have a single theme or it'll be a standar one, a miscellaneous book.