I'm SO (em)pathetic.
Wednesday, 05/21/03 - 12:01 pm.

It's hard to be between lovers and former lovers. Yesterday was full of love and brokenheartedness, all around me. It was somewhat a suffocating enviroment, I must admit.

I'm afraid Victoria broke up with her two(three?)-year boyfriend. She arrived in the middle of Psychology all tearful, and I knew she'd been with him before, I'd see them. I hope they didn't. But Angie says they have.

Speaking of Angie, I think Victor and her will hook up tomorrow. He was telling me yesterday he's grown to really love her, and not just like a friend.

Angie showed me a rose some guy gave her yesterday. She looked excited, and I was afraid...but it turned out she doesn't like the guy at all. And so Victor and I were talking last night, and he said he'd ask her out soon. I mentioned tomorrow classes start at 5:30 and since she arrives earlier, he could take advantage of the situation. So I guess by tomorrow Victor and Angie will be boyfriend and girlfriend, and I've been smiling like a retard because of that.

Then there's the other side...Cel. Victor asked me if he should tell her, and I told him to do it right away (this happened when we were chatting online last night). Each of them would copy and paste part of their conversation with the other and show it to me.

Cel cried. In some sort of way, she was really in love with him, she just couldn't her act together. Because at the same time, she wanted to be alone. She confessed to me that they went all the way, and that they were each other's first time. It was kind of shocking for me to learn that. Just shocking, no more. But she's happy for him, and is glad he's recovered from their hurtful relationship.

In a nutshell, it's kind of like this.

It's weird that I know a lot about these three people. I sometimes still wonder how I got to be among them, if I'm not in love with any of them, and therefore I have nothing to do. I've been shown e-mails and IMs from one to another, I've been told "he-says-she-says" (Angie doesn't know I know, though). Aw, it's good to be trusted.

I'll have to get used to the fact that Victor and I won't talk a lot now. A couple of minutes before I started writing this entry, he and Angie (and me, of course) were online. I tried to start a conversation with each of them (separate), but I'd get their replies 3 or 4 minutes later. So I decided to log out, I guess they were busier talking to one another. But don't get me wrong, I'm not mad. In fact, I am happy for them. And it's not like I'm not used to it, anyways. Losing touch with my friend always happen when he or she gets a significant other. That's been happening since 7th grade with Veronica.

I just wish Victoria and her (ex?) boyfriend could make up. And I hope Cel is feeling better this morning. She kind of is, she told me, as she got everything off her system last night. She just needs time to heal. She'll be alright.

And this is today's story. If it wasn't for third parties, I wouldn't be feeling anything today.

Well, I would...but today I've chosen to feel their happiness over my dead body -no pun intended- and rotten soul.

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