Friday, 06/13/03 - 11:50 am.
I can't help feeling upset. I find a little happiness (it's all 1's fault) and the whole world around me falls apart, and then I feel guilty for being happy. I must admit though, that I'd feel worse if I was feeling as depressed as they are.
Nobody seems to be going through good times. Veronica, to begin with. She's sick (migraine, and a bacteria she can't get rid of because the medicine is penicillin and her system is mortally allergic to that), she's having major trouble with her mom and her drunk uncle, and is dealing with a couple of issues with some of her friends (starting with Norman). So Rod tells me yesterday she's been skipping class and crying often. Which is quite understandable, but it still sort of upsets me.
Then it's Art, taking tranquilizers and trying to overdose. And Pablo and Vic. Betty. Cel....the list goes on. It seems everybody is depressed....except me. I still feel kind of miserable, but I'm much better than these past weeks. But my depression wasn't a big deal to anybody (granted, because no one noticed) but myself. They all have reasons to be like this, and I don't. I could never justify why I feel sad, and therefore I'd be just a drama queen.
It upsets me to be this impotent. To be far away from everybody and not being able to help them. But even if I was close to them, I bet I wouldn't be able to, either. It's not so easy, is it? Specially for me.
But let's face it...I'm probably more upset about the fact that I know they all are down, when in my case, nobody knew I was. Perhaps I'm just pissed off for this stupid ability to turn invisible, specially when I'm in pain.
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