Saturday, 11/17/01 - 11:40 a.m..
I got tickets, I got tickets!!!!! I'm seeing Aerosmith, I'm seeing Aerosmith live!!!!!!!!!
No, I'm not. But that sounds good.
I have other things that make me happy, though....I passed this year at school (*standing ovation by Simeon*). I went this morning to get my grades. I found Elisa on my way and she had failed two subjects. I walked by the guy, who ignored me (oh, who fuckin' cares) and I walked in my classroom. My science teacher was there and he gave me my grades and all the paperwork I need to register for next year (my last year of high school...). We had a short talk and I left. I walked by the guy again (we ignored each other) and went up to the parking lot where dad was waiting for me.
He wasn't surprised though. In fact, I wasn't surprised either. I guess I was indeed expecting to pass this year. although I was a bit terrified. There's always that small possibility that you might fuck everything up in the last moment. Thank God, I did not. I want to dedicate my triumph to God, my family, Aerosmith, Frog, Simeon, some of my friends, all of my fans and Mtv....well, not Mtv. Mtv sucks. And I don't have fans...some of my friends are my fans, or so they've said. So....yay.
- Yodel-A!!!...it's yodel-A.
*ahem*, Yodel-A.
Now....I can finally start packing for next saturday. It's a shame that not everybody is passing this year, which makes me feel less happy, but like I said I-can't-remember-when, everybody is on their own at school, no matter what. In the end, it's yourself who is saving you or fuckin' you up. I haven't called anybody. Not Carmen, not Veronica, not the guy. I don't know if I should call them. I'm almost sure that Carmen will call. Veronica maybe....and the guy....who knows. I'll give him some time though. Sometimes I get the feeling he believes I just want to brag because of my grades when I'm trying to help him. As for Melvin...I'll leave him a message on the Yahoo Messenger. We never talk on the phone, unless he wants to give me a call, which I doubt.
Now, my mind is free. No more school until january. I'll take care of other bussiness...such as taping aerostuff. My parental units bought me a video tape, and I'm taking it to Houston, with the one I'm using right now. Aerosmith will be on a rerun of Saturday Night Live on december 21st on Comedy Central. There's nothing like being informed.
So....loneliness is right ahead, I guess. No matter what your friends tell you, you always lose contact with them during vacation. And it'll be the same after we graduate. Fidel warned me...and he knows. Maybe not for good, but you do lose contact. I think is a nature fact. Some things have to walk out of your life so others can walk in.
The things that come to those who wait may be the things left by those that got there first.
You tell 'em, Stev'n.
Dad says I have to start thinking of my future. I always do. But it's more "wonder" than "think". I wonder what the fuck am I "supposed" to do. I wonder what do I want. I wonder what do I have to do to reach those things that I want. I wonder too much. But it's that or getting stuck in the present. And the present eventually becomes the past. And the present walks out of your life so your future can walk in........hell, I don't want to know what kind of crazy stuff I'd say if I was on drugs.
We don't know who we are until we're alone....I can't remember who said that but...he said it. I'll be home alone at least 75% of the time in Houston. There's no difference with here, anyway. But I have to find something. Something. I don't know what. According to Fidel, life itself shows you the way. But I always feel like I'm looking for something, and everytime I travel, when I go to visit my brother, the feeling grows. It's stronger. But I've been through that weird feeling twice now and nothing happens.
Maybe you're just paranoid.
Anyway....I'll do what I can. The rest I'll leave it to life. It shouldn't be that bad. You depend on yourself but also the circumstances (including people). Yeah, I know. Relating to what I said above, about people being on their own, it's a bit contradictory.
You can't generalize.
I'll go now. Carmen just called and she failed math...which means, she's one step out of school. But she still can make it, she still can pass the summer exam. God have mercy on her and on everybody else. I know she did her best, so that's just a bad joke of life and circumstances...and whatever else is involved with them.
Oh, shit. The clock has stopped, I'll go now, I have to get it new batteries. It's weird 'cause although the clock has stopped, time keeps moving and coming after me.
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