Second anniversary.
Monday, 09/01/03 - 12:11 pm.

In the evening of september 1st, 2001...no, wait. I already said that. Anyway, just so you know, today is the second anniversary of this diary.

Alright, I'll do what I did last year. Just for kicks.

Things that have changed:
- I'm a little older, I'm a little wiser (not really, that's just a Wayne's World II quote).
- I finished high school, I go to college now.
- All of my siblings have moved out of the house.
- I love The Beatles as much as Aerosmith.
- I am, for the most part, friendless (as in someone I can talk to and see everyday and actually enjoy it).
- Simeon developed a new alter ego, Jesus.
- I have a boyfriend, and yet I still kind of have a hard time getting over a previous boy (D. I'm not in love with him anymore, I just have...my "moments").
- I met her, the first person I've ever met in the real world after meeting her online.
- I don't worry about math anymore, because it's not a significant part of my academic life.

Things that have not changed.
- The voices in my head.
- Cutting.
- Repressed feelings (sadness, anger).
- I get depressed often.
- I am alone and lonely.
- Frog sucks (I love her so much!).
- I HAVE NOT MET AEROSMITH YET! ("argh" or something).

Come to think of it, things have changed almost completely. But I guess that's what a year is for.

The thing I miss the most from about this time of the year -last year- is my conversations with Pablo and Vic. And of course, the thing I miss less is the rest of my life. I kind of wish I could get back to those times, though, but only because I want to do things differently. Cry less and cut more, stir up some trouble....of course, the past is gone and I can't change anything.

I suppose now I write shorter entries, but that's because there's really nothing that interesting to talk about. Perhpas my life has become a little boring (more than usual) because now there aren't many conflicts. Instead of being in pain, I'm numb. I don't know what's better...or less worse, for that matter (at least for the readers, drama is better I guess).

My days aren't really worth-talking about, because my life is now limitated to my house and college, and to the 10 (that's an average) people I interact with everyday. Say, how many people do you interact with everyday? it must be the kind of interaction and not the number of people you interact with. And mine are awfully dull, I tell you. That's why I write short entries now. Nobody cares to read about my daily routine, everyday, and I honestly don't care to write about it either.

But I'm glad I wrote everything I did. Now I can go back and remember a certain thing (however hurtful) and be sure that that's how it happened, and perhaps be a little nostalgic. Time is a funny thing to live out, because it always gives you a different perspective as it goes by. Your mind plays new versions of your memories everytime you learn something new. Like a movie in which you find new elements and understand it a little more everytime you see it.

And that's all I have to say. I'm thankful for this diary, really. This diary might show me like a self-centered person (aren't we all at some level?) but I talk about myself here because out in the real world I don't, to anybody. My life would be more emotionally repressed without this diary. Like a ZIP file in a computer without WinZip...err, you get the point.

******

Betty told me I look like Janis Joplin. You see, that's bullshit, I don't. But I'm flattered that somebody thinks I'm so cool, and that I look high. Lately, smoking pot has been on my mind (I told you I'm currently leading a boring life), you know, to be on the edge for a while, but that won't be happening next week.

Speaking of high, that Afroman song has been a hit among my voices. 'Cause I got high, 'cause I got high, 'cause I got high. Simeon says he wants an Afro.

Say, happy anniversary diary *heart*

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