This entry got lost.
Saturday, 09/06/03 - 11:16 pm.

I just lost a long, thoughtful entry.

(ok, so that not everything will be lost, here's a digest:
I got called down and repressed by my dad at noon
I watched Saint Seiya this afternoon with my nephew and I simply cannot wait for the next episode
I got reviewed at Suck-It Reviews and the reviewer pointed out the annoying fact that some of my older entries show up with an old layout.
I've been taking the time to edit every entry with the old layout, even before I got the review. I too want to get rid of it.
In the process of editing entries, I couldn't help reading what I'd written, and it got so much to me that I had to cut myself to release many mixed emotions, and then I felt selfish because what I've gone through is nothing compared to other people.
I thought about second-guessing myself on my own memories, and how helpful this diary has been to keep details (like D saying I don't want to remember what your arm looked like today) I would've otherwise forgotten.
I wondered if I was really that miserable in high school. I think I was. But that's when I second guess myself. Perhaps I was just being a drama queen, because people like me are not supposed to feel miserable or depressed, or to cut.)

I'm utterly dumb and I hate myself.

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