In charge on a cold, cold day.
Monday, 01/05/04 - 11:23 am.

I'm in charge of the house today. The grown-ups have come back to work, but the kids don't start school until tomorrow. So I'm the grown-up of the house, I guess.

My biggest task of the day is to take my niece to school in the afternoon, because she has basketball practice. There are some problems to it, though: I cannot drive and I cannot leave the two boys home alone. And the dog has to come along. And it's freezing outside. And the practice is two hours long. Details, details.

It hadn't been this cold since I arrived. And just today, when I have to walk with three kids and a dog, the temperature suddenly drops (it'd been cloudy all week, but you could go out without a jacket). That could be a little problem, comfort-wise. Being in a playground for two hours with this weather is not fun, really.

I have the frightening feeling that I'm leaving in three days. That's not true, I'm leaving in two weeks, sunday 18th. But I don't want to, at all. I already said this yesterday, but I can say it again, I don't want to go back. I couldn't even get out of my bed this morning (took me 45 minutes), because I was feeling sad and terrified with the single idea of leaving. Or maybe I was just lazy, one never knows.

The days will start to get hard to go through, as soon as the kids go back to school. Tomorrow, that is. The rushing, the conflicts, the yelling, the blaming, the whole stress, the "there's no time for anything!" thing...it's hard to believe they live like this 9 out of 12 months.

Well, I have to go fix lunch for four spirits. And then to prepare a backpack with snacks and books (I'm reading Farenheit 451) and board games for the afternoon. I wish I could take the guitar with me. Last night I finally saw some improvement. Not a lot of course, I will never be good at it, but I'll keep on trying until I am (it makes sense in my head). I think that, secretly, I still want to be in a band. And in a good one, too.

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