The biggest fuck-up of my miserable, Aerosmithless life.
Thursday, Dec. 06, 2001 - 11:15 a.m..

Regret....here we go...

December 6th....just another day in my calendar.

According to AeroFANatic.com:
FUTURE VILLIAN (Bruce) reports.....

Dallas, TX, American Airlines Center 12/05/01
SET LIST
Beyond Beautiful
Love In An Elevator
Jaded
Just Push Play
Big Ten Inch Record
Pink
Mama Kin
Light Inside
Dream On
Monkey On My Back (First playing on this tour!)
Drop Dead Gorgeous
Stop Messin' Around
Draw The Line
Last Child
Same Old Song And Dance
Cryin'
I Don't Want To Miss A Thing
Mother Popcorn
Walk This Way
Uncle Salty / Sweet Emotion
---------------------
Livin' On The Edge
What It Takes
Train Kept A Rollin'

"They were loud as hell and really into it. Steven had a flashback to the 70's during Sweet Emotion. LOL! He did the entire 3rd verse first. Then he went and fucked with Joe before Joe was about to use his Talk box for the second time. He grabbed the tube out of Joe's hand right before he was about to put it in his mouth. Causing it to sort of fuck up and threw Joe's timing off. When the roadie came out to take the Talk Box... Joe looked at Steven with a not so serious pissed of look...like... "You fucked me up mother fucker!" Steven was passing by as Joe did this... and as he was singing the lines... "Standin' in the front just-a-shaking your ass..." he pointed at Joe and couldn't hold back laughing as he changed the lines to...."Don't fuck with me or I'll be kicking your ass!" Then Joe laughed about it too.".

Where was I? Why, at Office Depot, buying headphones for my brother.

But it felt as if it was the wrong place to be. It was like all of my life, all the meaning of life was in Dallas last night (call it obsession if you want). Renan'd look at me once in a while and go: aaawww, pleeease, don't be so sad... and started humming the melody of a Hyundai commercial. Then he and Rebeca started singing My Favorite Things, from The Sound Of Music. Of course it didn't work, since one of my favorite things is Aerosmith. My brother noticed how depressed I was, and told me I should had told him before so we could have made plans. He was willing to take me if given the chance, he'd been saying that since I mentioned Aerosmith was on tour. He has a friend in Dallas and I could have stayed in her house, blah, blah, blah, and other plans...But the kids, Renan and his job, Denise and her job and her classes, weekday, tickets....yeah, you're right, he said. It wouldn't have worked out. Well, maybe...it would have worked out, if I had actually made plans...nevermind. I'd better shut up and forget about how much I fucked up. I don't want "if's". I hate "if's" when they're not a choice but an excuse. I'll face it, I just blew it. I just fuckin' blew it.

Please somebody set me on fire and use my ashes for a satanic ritual.

You best believe that you ain't goin' nowhere
unless you get that monkey off your back
I made believe the devil made me do it
I was the evil leader of the pack
You best believe I had it all and then I blew it
feeding the fuckin' monkey on my back....

On a brighter side....there's no brighter side. I'm just doing the laundry. I may do the dishes. I'll Pick up Renan at 4 pm, then go to church with him because Rebeca has a presentation and my brother and his wife may not be able to make it on time.

Lunch: frozen pizza (un-frozen, of course).

What's been the highlight of today? I woke up and found out that I had bought my brother headphones.

What do you expect from today? *sigh* Nothing.

What do you expect from the near future? *sigh* Nothing.

Any special plan for today? Watch Rendez-view and convince myself that there's indeed people who are more pathetic and desperate than I am, and then laugh at them.

Anything you'd like to add?....Um...yeah. Sucks to be me.

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